Monthly Archives: April 2011

A Post I Wrote a Few Weeks Ago

No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. 
~Euripides

I wrote this post nearly three weeks ago on the 10th.  It kinda gives you some updates as to what happened that week. I have more updates (not about the same subject) that I’ll get up next week to bring you completely up to speed with my life. Well, at least the huge things.

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Wrote on Sunday, April 10th as I was flying from Seattle to St. Louis for my father-in-law’s funeral:

So the last week has been pretty tumultuous for us. Saturday the 2nd, we were told we could finally sign on our house. The sellers were kind enough to allow us to take possession of the keys but since the house would not officially close until Monday, we could not live there until then.

That helped because Huzzy started boat duty on Sunday and started working LONG hours. As in 20 hour days with the addition of duty night every other night. For example, he went to work at 0300 on Thursday because they were putting the boat in dry dock and then was supposed to have duty watch that night and then would have to work the next day until 1800 or so.

We had two different guys on two different days (Saturday and then Sunday morning) help us move the heavy stuff. That was fantastic. However, I still was left helping to move heavy stuff that apparently my back/neck/shoulder wasn’t ready to move. I may have a bulging disc in my neck and I’m waiting on xrays to confirm it. Either way, my neck is sore as heck and feels stiff and unable to move properly. And the tingling in my fingers is back.

Anyway, we were supposed to close Monday. But in true Wuzzy household fashion, that of course didn’t happen. Someone somewhere screwed up what is a normal, everyday thing and the house didn’t close until Tuesday. That gave us two days to move out of the rental.

Now, you may have noticed in my second paragraph that I said Huzzy was “supposed to” have watch Thursday night. If you read my blog post Thursday, you know that his father had a massive heart attack and it wasn’t looking good. Apparently after the heart attack, they had a hard time getting him back and his brain was without sufficient oxygen for more than an hour.

They dropped his body temperature down to 93 to help combat the swelling of his brain and to give his body a chance to heal. Unfortunately, over the course of the next two days, he had a few cardiac arrests and by Saturday, his liver and kidneys started shutting down.

Luckily Huzzy was not out to sea and the command allowed him to fly home. We were up at 0200 Friday morning to get him to the airport. Let me just say here, I LOOOOOVE Southwest airlines. Did you know they have military fares? And not the “military fares” that many airlines have that are more expensive that normal prices.

Now, these military fares are probably not cheaper if you are able to book way in advance, but for those who need last-minute flights or the flights are expensive, this is perfect. We paid $480 roundtrip for Huzzy’s flight (and my subsequent one that I’m on as I type this) the night before he left, which included all taxes.  That was only $240 one way. And of course, as with all Southwest flights, these are fully changeable with no change fee and you only pay the fare difference if there is one. My flight two days later was the exact same price as his so I suspect the military prices don’t change much. And of course, you get to check two bags for free, which is an anomaly these days.

Anyway, Huzzy was able to be there with his brother when they had to make the hardest choice a son or daughter could… to remove life support and let their father go. He was not coming back and his body could not regulate its own functions, including his blood pressure. He left this world with his friends and family at his side and he did it very quickly after the support was removed. He was ready to go.

So that’s where we are right now. I’ve done this before. It’s been just a little more than six years since my own father died of a heart attack and I was left at the age of 22 being in charge of his entire estate and the funeral planning and everything. Because of that experience, I’m going to be able to help Huzzy and his brother as they deal with their own dad’s death and the subsequent events and things that have to be dealt with after this happens. Neither of them has really experienced a loss other than a grandfather, so this is something that is new to them.

I’m glad I’m going to be able to help them out and maybe alleviate some of the stress by being the one who gets everything organized and makes sure things are done and does all those little things and details that seem to slip by when you are dealing with immense grief. The funeral, or Celebration of Life, is going to take place on Thursday. I had figured it would be Tuesday or Wednesday so I bought plane tickets for Thursday but, again, that’s the beauty of Southwest… I’ll be able to change it no problem.

Speaking of alleviating stress… a certain blog follower of mine is helping me out. I put a call out on our boat’s FRG page asking if anyone could help me and watch our two dogs while I was gone. Several people responded but the person who is going to watch them, apparently, also participates in MilSpouse Friday Fill-In. Small world. I had no idea any of my followers were on the same boat. And apparently one of my Twitter peeps is also on our boat! Too funny.

P.S.
I was not paid for or solicited for my opinions on Southwest. I’m just extremely grateful for their service and for what they offer military.


MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #39

Happiness is an attitude.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.  The amount of work is the same. 
~Francesca Reigler


MilSpouse Friday Fill-In(please feel free to use this!)

I love learning more about my fellow MilSpouse bloggers. So I created a weekly meme. Each week, I’ll post a list of questions on Thursday (so you can have your blog ready on Friday). Come back here on Friday (like today!) and enter your blog post into Mr. Linky below so others know who else participated and we can all visit other blogs. Please leave a comment too! And please feel free to use the button above!

This week’s questions are:

1. Have you and your spouse agreed to live in separate locations (a geographical bachelor tour) knowing that the short-term inconvenience would have long-term benefits for your family? How did it work for you? submitted by When Good People Get Together
Yes, we have. Huzzy and I spent our first seven weeks together and then he PCSed to Washington state while I stayed behind to sell my house. Ten months (and one 3 1/2 month deployment) later, I moved to Washington to live with him. Of course, five weeks later he left for his SECOND deployment.

It ended up not working for us because I never sold the house. And the reason I moved is because I gave up and couldn’t do it any longer. I haaated that during his short times on land (submariners may not deploy for long… 3-6 months… but they deploy ALL. THE. TIME), that I was away from him. It was also tough because I still lived 2 hours from family and had no one near me that even knew what I was dealing with at all. It would have been much easier if I had some spouses around me that knew what I was dealing with.

2. What is your favorite thing about being a MilSpouse? submitted by Sarah Ruth Today
My favorite thing is knowing that my husband is doing something that is making this world a better place. The MilSpouse friends I’ve met have also been awesome.

3. If you could still have your spouse/significant other and your family, but take the military life out of it…would you?  submitted by Trust. Love. Believe. Bake.
No… because then he wouldn’t be who he is. The Navy has made him the man he is (though it isn’t what solely defines him) and I could never wish that away. But I am looking forward to retirement… in 8-12 years. LOL

4. What have your homecoming experiences been like after a year long tour of separation? submitted by Army Soldier, Army Wife
We don’t have year-long separations. We have 3-5 month long separations (2-3 times a year) where we pretty much have no communication at all. As in, I’m lucky if I receive 2-3 emails the entire time. So the biggest thing is having him to talk to again. Just hearing his voice after not hearing it for MONTHS is the sexiest thing in the world.

5. If you have a child(ren) why you chose their name(s)? If not, why you would name your child something?  submitted by Tiara’s & ACU’s
We don’t have children. I won’t put what we are thinking of naming any future kids we might have because I don’t do names on here. HOWEVER, a girl’s name (either first or middle) will be a name that honors my middle name, my mom’s first name and my MIL’s middle name (all the same… weird!) and my grandma’s middle name. A boy… well, we had been talking about using Huzzy’s grandpa’s name as a middle name but now that his dad died… I dunno. His dad’s middle name is actually the same as my grandma’s middle name (yes, spelled the same too and the one I JUST mentioned) so it might be that instead. Or in addition. We haven’t talked about it since his dad only died 3 weeks ago.

Please don’t forget to add your blog link to Mr. Linky below by clicking on it. But also if you are not participating in MilSpouse Friday Fill-In this week, please do not put your link on there… I will remove it. It is unfair to others who do participate.


MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #39: Questions for Tomorrow

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. 
~Anne Taylor Fleming

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In(please feel free to use this!)

I love learning more about my fellow MilSpouse bloggers! MilSpouse Friday Fill-in is taking off even better than I could have ever hoped. I learned so much about my fellow bloggers and can’t wait to learn more… and hopefully even MORE will join in as we go.

Here’s the skinny for newcomers about MilSpouse Friday Fill-ins (and when I say MilSpouse, I mean significant others, too!):

Each week, I’ll post a list of questions on Thursday (so you can have your blog ready on Friday). Come back here on Friday and enter your blog post into Mr. Linky so others know who else participated and we can all visit other blogs.  And please feel free to use the button above!

  1. Have you and your spouse agreed to live in separate locations (a geographical bachelor tour) knowing that the short-term inconvenience would have long-term benefits for your family? How did it work for you? submitted by When Good People Get Together
  2. What is your favorite thing about being a MilSpouse? submitted by Sarah Ruth Today
  3. If you could still have your spouse/significant other and your family, but take the military life out of it…would you?  submitted by Trust. Love. Believe. Bake.
  4. What have your homecoming experiences been like after a year long tour of separation? submitted by Army Soldier, Army Wife
  5. If you have a child(ren) why you chose their name(s)? If not, why you would name your child something?  submitted by Tiara’s & ACU’s

Can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with tomorrow!


Month of the Military Child – Exceptional Family Member Program and Autism

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.  There are seven million. 
~Walt Streightiff

April is the Month of the Military Child. Deployments and serving in the military is tough on the servicemember and the spouse, but it’s equally as hard (if not harder) on the servicemember’s children. Military children often need more support than a civilian child, especially during deployments.

This month, to honor our military children, I’m dedicating each Monday to Month of the Military Child. Since we don’t have children, I’ve asked a few guests to blog about their experiences with military children and provide some insight into how we can help these children excel during what may be the toughest time of their young lives.

My last guest post is about something that you will never need… or something that you will rely on day in, and day out. It’s the military’s Exceptional Family Member program, but this post specifically highlight’s the Navy’s program and how it pertains to the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Your own branch may differ.

This guest post is by a good friend and Navy wife, who is known as minivangirl on Twitter. She and her husband, a submariner, deal with a lot. A LOT. And I’ll be making another post on how you can help them out specifically, hopefully later this week.

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Chicky excited for cupcakes.

I am not a writer. I am not a blogger. I am mother of a child who has autism. I am also a Navy wife.

When you first hear the diagnosis of Autism, it can send you into a tailspin. Worries of “what if” and “what now”.

The very first thing you should know is, I am proud of you.

“What is this crazy lady talking about?? Why is she proud of me??” 

You paid attention to your child. You noticed something wasn’t quite right and you acted on it. You questioned, you read, you researched and you went to the doctor. Maybe even more than one doctor. You listened to the little voice inside of you and you sought answers. The answer was Autism or any one of the Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Give your kiddo a hug. Nuzzle their head a bit. Pull back and take a look…..this is the same wonderful child that was right here yesterday, the only difference is that now you have a diagnosis of Autism.

There are a multitude of books, website and support groups to help you along the way. Read, search, and learn. That’s not why I am here today. Today I am focusing on what steps you need to take and what programs are available to you as a military family.

One of the best guides out there is Lisa Rupe’s “Guide for Military Families Affected By Autism.”

http://www.tacanow.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/militaryfamiliesfinal.pdf

The very first thing you need to do once you have a diagnosis is enroll your child in the EFM (Exceptional Family Member) program. This program helps to make sure that you are sent only to bases that can support your child’s needs. Imagine if you were sent to a base in the middle of nowhere, without a Developmental Pediatrician for hundreds of miles! That is not a good situation and could even mean a second move to support your child’s needs. EFM Program monitors what services are available in each area and tries to match you with a base that can help.

http://www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil/portal/page/mhf/MHF/MHF_DETAIL_1?section_id=20.40.500.570.0.0.0.0.0&current_id=20.40.500.570.500.20.0.0.0

In the Navy, once your child is enrolled, they will be assigned a “Category.”

There are six Navy EFMP enrollment categories:

A life-changing moment. For more information, check out http://www.giveforward.com/raisethewoof

  • Category I – for monitoring purposes only
  • Category II – pinpoint to specific geographic locations
  • Category III – no overseas assignments
  • Category IV – major medical areas in CONUS
  • Category V – homesteading
  • Category VI – temporary enrollment – update required in 6-12 months

The next step would be to enroll in ECHO (Extended Care Health Option)

http://www.tricare.mil/mybenefit/home/overview/SpecialPrograms/ECHO

ECHO provides:

Princess Chicky getting ready to go on a walk.

  • Medical and rehabilitative services
  • Training to use assistive technology devices
  • Special education
  • Institutional care when a residential environment is required
  • Transportation for institutionalized beneficiaries to receive authorized ECHO benefits.
  • Assistive services, such as those from a qualified interpreter or translator
  • Durable equipment, including adaptation and maintenance
  • In-home medical services through ECHO Home Health Care (EHHC)
  • In-home respite care services

- ECHO respite care:  16 hours per month when receiving other authorized ECHO benefits
- EHHC respite care:  up to 40 hours per week (eight hours per day, five days per week) for those who qualify
- Only one can be used in the same calendar month, they cannot be used together.
- Only available in the 50 United States, The District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

I would also suggest you think about your child’s PCM. How do you feel about your relationship. Yes, I know it’s your child’s PCM, but you are your child’s voice. You need to feel comfortable talking to this person. Do you feel you can ask questions? Can you approach them? Do you know the easiest way to reach them? Is the PCM accessible? Your child’s doctor and you will be working together quite a bit, make sure it’s a good relationship.

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MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #38

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. 
~Author Unknown

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In(please feel free to use this!)

I love learning more about my fellow MilSpouse bloggers. So I created a weekly meme. Each week, I’ll post a list of questions on Thursday (so you can have your blog ready on Friday). Come back here on Friday (like today!) and enter your blog post into Mr. Linky below so others know who else participated and we can all visit other blogs. Please leave a comment too! And please feel free to use the button above!

This week’s questions are:

1. How many pets do you have? And what type? submitted by Life and Times of a Displaced Jersey Girl 

Lulu enjoying the summer


Well, we only have two dogs because we had to put down our third last month. We have Lulu, who is an almost five-year-old blue fawn Greyhound, and Skah, who is a 3 year old deaf Great Pyrenees. They are hilarious and I love them so much. Even though Skah tends to be pretty high-maintenance medically.

2. What are your favorite projects to do while hubby is away? submitted by my-inspired-nest
Pretty much all I have time for is cleaning up our house and either unpacking, or packing. LOL, this is our fourth deployment coming up and it’s still one of those two. Luckily, this should be the last time for a LONG time that I’ll be unpacking.

3. What are the must-haves in your deployment care packages?  submitted by Christine’s Little Blog
The first one is energy drinks. I also like to put cake-in-a-jar. But we don’t generally get deployment care packages that we can send so it’s more for the halfway box. You can check out the contents of my last one here.

4. If you could star in any TV show, which would it be? submitted by Just a Girl 

Skah guarding his land


I’d want to be the star of Secret Millionaire. Because, well, I’d be a millionaire and enough of one to be able to share my wealth with others! That is a double bonus. I love helping people.

5. What was the biggest hurdle that you faced during your/your significant other’s first deployment? submitted by The Pavlik Perspective
I think my biggest hurdle was living in Michigan while he had been living in Washington (10 months by the time I left) so we already had so few moments together. And then I wasn’t around anyone who “understood” what it was like to have a spouse deployed. I was also stressing about selling our house and finally moving to Washington. That was tough. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Please don’t forget to add your blog link to Mr. Linky below by clicking on it. But also if you are not participating in MilSpouse Friday Fill-In this week, please do not put your link on there… I will remove it. It is unfair to others who do participate.


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