April is Month of the Military Child. Since Huzzy and I don’t have children, I put out a call for guest bloggers to help out. I originally wanted to do a guest blogger every Monday, but I had so many fantastic responses that you’ll see a guest blogger every Monday and Thursday!

My fourth guest blogger is fellow Navy wife Sailors Princess from My Life as a Navy Wife. She has been married to “hubs” and  a navy wife for 5 years now and is currently going through her 2^nd deployment, with their first child “D” who is 2 ½ years old.

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We are finally at our half way mark of this deployment. This is D’s first deployment, and mine and hubs 2^nd. Having a 2 ½ year old who  doesn’t really understand why the ‘guy who lives with us occasionally” is gone for longer than the usually 2 to 3 weeks has been difficult but we are managing just as fine as we can. We have tried to get into a schedule, but anyone with a toddler knows how hard that can be. We’ve been keeping busy with church, friends and other activities. But that doesn’t help when we miss daddy.

Thankfully there is a program that is available called United through Reading, where service members can record DVD’s of themselves reading books to their children. The DVD’s get sent home to the families or even given to the families before they deploy so that the children can read with Daddy or Mommy. It has been so awesome for us because we have a couple of the books that daddy read and D can try to follow along. It’s nice for us because we can watch daddy

April is Month of the Military Child. Since Huzzy and I don’t have children, I put out a call for guest bloggers to help out. I originally wanted to do a guest blogger every Monday, but I had so many fantastic responses that you’ll see a guest blogger every Monday and Thursday!

New Mommy and her family

My fifth guest blogger is New Mommy Confessions. She’s pretty new to blogging, but she’s catching on quick. While a large portion of it concerns military life, her blog also touches on “normal” family life, crafts, baking and the occasional rant.

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When the Sailor and I started talking babies we knew it meant someone’s career was at an end. At the time we were both active duty, but we had already decided that a child should have at least one stable person in their life. Financially it made the most sense for the Sailor to remain in the Navy and for me to get out.

Everything worked out beautifully, and when Baby Girl turned 8 months I was honorably discharged and ready to tackle my new role as a stay-at-home-mom. By this time the Sailor was already 2 months into a 6 month cruise. This meant that for the first 2 months I was a working, first-time mommy with no family in the area. The Navy doesn’t care if your kid is sick and daycare won’t take them.

I gained a healthy respect for working moms and especially military moms in those first months. I also learned that it just wasn’t for me. I might tease the Sailor about a lot of things (like who got the higher ASVAB score…ha!) but he is constantly forced to do something that I know in my heart I would not be capable of. More often than we like, he is called upon to leave his baby girl behind to do a job far, far away.

The first time he left she was 6 months old. He missed everything. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for him to hear all of her accomplishments through email and rare phone calls. First teeth, first word (Daddy!), crawling, climbing, first birthday…

I debated with myself what to do while he was gone. I knew that the most important thing to me was to be sure that Baby Girl knew who her Daddy was. I had his picture plastered everywhere: it was the screensaver on my phone and computer. I put up extra pictures of him around the house and invested in some “unbreakable” frames for our daughter so she had pictures of him she could play with. I had a pillow made up with his picture on it and she slept with it every night. He recorded himself reading her books, which I played so many times that I can recite “Hop on Pop” and a lot of other Dr. Suess books by heart.

But the hardest decision was what to do about him. Do I tell him every little milestone? Do I hide some from him so that maybe he wouldn’t know how much he was missing? This was our first child, and he had to miss so much of it.

Daddy and daughter

In the end I told him everything. I took a picture of her every day he was gone and sent him every single one. I sent him a pillowcase with a collage of baby pictures on it. A lot of women will complain about how the ship went into “River City” a lot during that deployment, but I’m convinced the internet just needed to take frequent breaks after dealing with all my emails and pictures.

When the Sailor came home I was a wreck. Did I do everything I could? Will she remember him? He had been gone for more so long.

In the end I didn’t need to worry. As soon as Daddy showed up I was invisible! (Hey kid, remember me? Mommy?) It was all worth it. Baby Girl certainly knew her Daddy.

Now we’re going through it again. Already. By the time he gets back this time he will have been gone for more than half of her life. It’s easier and harder this time. I know what to do, and I’m getting pretty good at it. He recorded books again before he left, we spent a lot of family time together and she sleeps with her Daddy Doll. But new stuff is cropping up as well. Nothing prepares you for your child wandering the house yelling, “Daddy, where are you?” because she thinks he’s just hiding. It breaks my heart every time.

When he comes home safe this will all feel like it was just a bad dream. I look forward to that day and pray for his safety and the safety of all those men and women on board. And I hang in there. I was a sailor too, and we’re a tough breed. And now I’m a milspouse, and we’re an even tougher breed. We wait until the kids are asleep to cry. Then we dry our tears, shake it off and carry on.

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April is Month of the Military Child. Since Huzzy and I don’t have children, I put out a call for guest bloggers to help out. I originally wanted to do a guest blogger every Monday, but I had so many fantastic responses that you’ll see a guest blogger every Monday and Thursday!

My second guest blogger is Jamie at Handling with Grace?.

Jamie and her daughter

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Hi ladies.  My name is Jamie.  I blog over at “Handling With Grace?”.  I am a Navy wife and mother of a two year old.  I love the adventure that the military life offers but as we all know, there are tradeoffs that we encounter.  There are two simple truths about military life that we all know.

1. Military life is hard.  It is hard to move around every couple years.  It is hard to leave friends who mean the world to us.  It is hard to re-make friends when we reach the new duty station.  It is not an “easy” lifestyle.
2. This is a GOOD life!  Being separated from our biological families, we rely most heavily on our own little glued together modge podge group of friends that turn into family members.  We get to travel the country and experience things that many people never get to.  We are part of a select group of people who have friends all over not just this great country but this amazing world.

Things start to get a little trickier (for me at least) when I add my sweet toddler in to the equation.  She has big extended family that lives mere miles from each other in Southern California.  She (we) are the only missing piece of that family.  I am sad for her that she is not going to grow up super close to her cousins.  I am sad for her that she is not going to really know her grandparents and they won’t really know her.

I find peace with our (my husband and I try to make these decisions together) decision to be “lifers” by knowing that my sweet little one is going to be an expert friend maker by the time she is in high school.  She is not going to have a choice in the matter.  We are going to move.  This is an unavoidable component of this lifestyle that we have chosen.  Hopefully with my guidance and assistance, she will develop the self-confidence necessary to be a successful friend maker.  She will have a lot to offer as a friend with her vast array of life experiences travels.

Jamie and family

I plan to continue to show her all around this country and take full advantage of each duty station that we go to.  Through the travels and experiences, I fully expect her to develop a strong sense of self and self- confidence.  She is lucky that by the time she reaches high school, she too will have friends and extended “family members” all over not only this great country but this amazing world!

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April is Month of the Military Child. Since Huzzy and I don’t have children, I put out a call for guest bloggers to help out. I originally wanted to do a guest blogger every Monday, but I had so many fantastic responses that you’ll see a guest blogger every Monday and Thursday!

My first guest blogger is Poekitten from Many Waters. She’s pregnant with their first child. I figured starting out Month of the Military Child with someone who is about to have her first military child would be the perfect place to start. So here we go…

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Hi, I’m Poekitten from Many Waters! I’m a born and bred New Englander who has been transplanted to the Pacific Northwest thanks to my husband (and the Navy). I love tea, other cultures, flip flops, warm weather and the view from our deck of Puget Sound. My husband, whom I call The Man, and I are expecting are first child in mid-July. We’re super excited and nervous too, all at the same time.

Poekitten and Mr. Poekitten... parents-to-be!

I’ve found that being a pregnant Milspouse isn’t all the different from a non pregnant Milspouse. I still do most of the things I did before I got pregnant, like cooking, cleaning, taking care of the furbabies (minus the catbox…loving it!), etc. The Man’s schedule is crazy thanks to being in the shipyard, so nothing has changed there. The biggest change so far is that I’m getting bigger and it’s getting harder getting comfy to sleep. I’m enjoying duty nights now cause I get the whole bed and all the pillows too myself.

Well, there might be one difference. The hormones. The hormones just magnify everything. I’m kinda ashamed about my reaction to his leaving for week long sea trials. I wanted to do nothing but pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all weekend. I made myself get out of bed but it was a challenge. I was appalled because we’ve endured much longer separations. A week is NOTHING. I was just so overwhelmed at the thought of him missing birthing class and a doctors appointment and having to deal with the dogs and the cats and just plain being alone. Even in the midst of it I knew it was ridiculous. I had no idea who this woman was or where she came from. I know that there are other milspouses who have had their husbands gone for the majority of the pregnancy. There are milspouses who have given birth while their husbands are deployed.

As I thought about it, I realized they had days where they wanted to hide under the covers too. So I did what I always go, what we milspouses always do. I put on my big girl panties and moved on. I’m not going to lie, the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream helped. I’ve been wrestling my emotions and trying to keep them under control. Thankfully, a pregnant women a break down is allowed and maybe even expected every once in a while.

So I’m doing what I do when he’s gone. I take care of the house and the furbabies. I eat all the food I like and he hates. I write down the thoughts that I want to share with him when he gets home. I sort through baby clothes and other paraphernalia that a kind friend has given us. As I do these things my mind is thinking, thinking about this life and lifestyle we’ve chosen. I realize, even as I mourn the idea that my daughter won’t grow up in one town like I did, that there is strength here. My daughter will learn how to be independent, how to face yucky situations head on, how to make friends in new places and how to deal with separation from loved ones. She’ll see how love between two people, even when they are apart, stays strong. She’ll have me to model those things for her. So I’m starting now, being role model for my daughter. If I can’t handle a separation from my husband when it’s just me, how will I be able to do it with a child?

As her daily kicks remind me, I’m not alone. It’s no longer just the two of us, The Man and I. There are three of us now. Thankfully as the two of us wait for her daddy to come home, we’re not alone either. We have the sisterhood of milspouses standing with us. So thank you ladies (and gents too!) for your support and strength. I know that none of us could do this very well alone.

In case you’re wondering, my emotions are all over the place again. I think a bowl of ice cream will help…

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Thanks for the quick feedback! I have more than enough guest bloggers now, so I’m not looking for any others.

I’m looking for five guest bloggers for “Month of the Military Child,” which happens in April. I would like to post one each Monday in April (and there are FIVE this year!).

What I’m looking for is someone who is a parent of a military child and wants to talk about the difficulties, the joys, the differences in civilian vs military children, etc.  Heck, if you are a pregnant with a military child and would like to post on this, that’s great!

I can only take five people. So if you are interested, send me your pitch to wifeofasailor (at) gmail (dot) com.  Let me know what you would blog about and a little about yourself and your child(ren).

What I am NOT looking for are companies who just want to blog about the great things they have to offer.

Thanks in advance!

So today I was out doing errands and at one register, my total ended up being $6.72. I handed the cashier a $20 bill, two pennies and four nickles (I was cleaning out my change purse!). She counted the change and then counted it a second time and then looked at me and said, “the change was 76 cents.” I paused for a second and then said (very nicely), “Yeah, I know… this way I’ll get two quarters back.”  She looked at me skeptically and then typed it into her computer and then just handed me my change back.  I shudder to think how much I would have confused her if I would have given her $22.22, expecting $15.50 back. *sigh* I learned to count change properly–including counting the change back to someone starting with the price of the purchase and going up to the amount given to me–when I was eight. EIGHT!

I sure hope that our future children aren’t allowed to use calculators in school until they learn how to do the calculations behind the math themselves. My mom didn’t let us type any papers on the computer (we didn’t get one until 6th grade anyway) until we learned how to type properly…  as in “asdf jkl;” typing. I plan to do the same thing with our kids.

Oh how much I appreciate the things my parents made us do. Sometimes I thought they were too “old-fashioned” but I am so appreciative of it now.

P.S.
Thanks for the comments on MilSpouse Friday Fill-In. I think I’m just going to do it on the first Friday of the month (thus making it MilSpouse FIRST Friday Fill-In). This will give me some more time to write on my blog. It seems as though every time I have a post to write, it’s either on Thursdays or Fridays when I have to get the MFF posts ready. However, I don’t want to abandon MFF completely, so I think this is a good compromise.

This past year has been a tumultuous year of ups and downs. But I’ll admit, it was mostly downs. I’m ready to see what 2012 brings and am really looking forward to the year!  Here’s a recap of the year for the Wuzzy Household:

No, I'm not that short, he's just super tall. I'm 5'5".

January saw the return of Huzzy on New Year’s Day and my first dependent’s cruise. At this point, we had been married for nearly two years but only spent 14 weeks together… and not all of it at once!  In fact, we’d only spent seven weeks together at one time.

February was the month we were supposed to move into our new house, but delays with our banks started and were really frustrating us.

March gave us just a hint of what was to come… our nearly 12 year old Greyhound, Chase, had to be sent to the Rainbow Bridge after what we can only guess was cancer of some sort… most likely throat. But it was the traumatizing injury that happened while he was at the vet’s that took him sooner than expected.

April was the worst month in the Wuzzy household. The second week of the month, Huzzy’s dad had a massive heart attack and never regained consciousness. Huzzy was able to fly cross country in time to make it to the hospital in order to be there with his brother while they made the heartbreaking decision to take their dad off life support. He was gone for the rest of the month. The same day we got the call about his dad, we moved into our first home purchased together. That bright point was hard to see at the time but we recognize it now and cherish our home.  Because of his loss, Huzzy was unable to go on his boat’s spring/summer deployment (though he was supposed to pick it up part way through but due to the boat’s change in schedule, that never happened). My cat our family got in 7th grade died (at my mom’s house). It was his time, but it was still sad.

Chase just six months before he died.

May was spent pretty much alone as Huzzy was gone for all but a few days of it taking care of his dad’s estate. We realized our former landlords were not going to give us our deposit money back nor even acknowledge that we existed. I also learned I was probably going to need surgery on my shoulder. It was this month that I also was promoted to LTjg and we started fostering kittens for the local humane society.

June started and ended crappy but the middle was a pretty good because my mom came to visit and Huzzy was here for my birthday for the first time in our marriage. Of course, he made it with only 10 minutes to spare, but technically, he made it. Before either of them got here, one of our first foster kittens ended up biting me down to the bone in my finger (it was a feral kitten I was taming) and I had to go to the ER. Good news? That kitten is now a fantastically friendly kitten who apparently got a great home! Right after that, my mom had to put our childhood dog down. She had cancer. And the end of June saw yet more death… my cat, Sadie, that my mom was keeping at her house and that I was going to bring home in 2012 died.

July was probably one of the best months of the year, even though it started off with the death of someone who was like a grandfather to me. I finally, after 16 months, got a job. I also spent my two weeks AT on the USS Nimitz, which, even though it was in drydock, was fantastic. Huzzy and I spent Independence Day together, which was only our second holiday together as a married couple.

Kissy and Skully, mid-fight, leaning against Lulu on our bed.

August started out with court mediation with our former landlords. That didn’t bring any resolution so a court date in front of a judge was set but the earliest one was five months away. The month also brought news that I was definitely having shoulder surgery and ended with bringing our third set of foster kittens home… these ones just 10 days old (with momma). We ended up keeping two of them and naming them Kissy and Skully.

September was fun because my brother came out to visit. I hadn’t seen him in nearly two years and he had never been west of the Mississippi.

October saw me transferred to a new Navy Reserve unit… one that I’m really excited about working with for the next three years. It also was the month I had my shoulder surgery. Huzzy also left to go on a short patrol (not with his crew) to get some qualifications done.

November was the month I met my new unit… but two days before that, I was laid off from my job. Huzzy also came back juuust in time for us to spend our first Thanksgiving together in one place since we were married. We spent it with friends and some Single Sailors from his command.

December also brought two more deaths… someone that was like a grandmother to me (yes, the wife of man who died in July) and my great-aunt, whom I had met only once. But it bought us yet another holiday together… Christmas. It was nice to spend it together and not be alone. However, he has 24hr duty from 8 a.m. New Year’s Eve through 8 a.m. New Year’s Day, so we’ll have to wait until our fourth NYE married before we have a chance of ringing in the New Year together… if he doesn’t have duty then! We also found out our landlords filed for bankruptcy, so the court has canceled our court date and we will probably never get our money back. A$$hats.

So while we’ve had some great times this year… it has been overshadowed by way too much death. I’m so ready for 2012 and hope it brings happiness, healing (both physical and emotional) and LIFE.

Today, I’m giving my blog over to Suzanne All Because Two People Fell In Love for Riding the Roller Coaster’s Holiday Blog swap! You can find my own post over on Married to a Sailor’s blog!

According to her blog, Suzanne says, “I am very laid back and usually go with the flow. I am very laid back and easy to get along with. I am married to the love of my life. My husband, Tim and I got married July 17, 2008! I honestly didn’t know what happiness was until I met him. I am living in Northern Virginia with my husband, daughter, son and pooches.”  She has some really great resources over at her blog, so go check it out!

And without further ado… here is Suzanne’s post:

Do You Believe?

As we are approaching Christmas, I thought this fit perfectly. So that famous man and his reindeer whom make their appearance yearly, do you believe?

Of course I know where the presents come from, but I’ve got to share a story from my childhood. Well two of them really.

Do you believe in Reindeer? I do. Of course we know that reindeer truly exist within North America amongst other areas.

Now what about those famous Reindeer that travel with Santa to deliver presents to all the good little girls and boys:

• Dasher
• Dancer
• Prancer
• Vixen
• Comet
• Cupid
• Donder (or Donner)
• Blitzen

Oh wait, you can’t forget Rudolph (you know w/ the bright red nose)!

This brings me back to my story. One would think red nosed reindeers don’t exist, well I have to think otherwise. When I was younger my father and I were traveling a back road where we used to live and it was only a fenced in area where you 90% of the time would always see deer. Sure enough as we were driving by, there were deer. Next thing you know, neither of us said anything to one another but did look at each other in a way of saying: Did you see that? We turned around to go get a picture of what we just saw, but it was gone.

So you ask, what did we see?

Yes, we saw a red-nosed reindeer. I only wish I had proof. So many people think I’m crazy I’m sure – you do too, right?

Another childhood experience was on Christmas Eve one evening. My Maw-Maw and Pop-Pop stayed the evening with us to wake with us on Christmas morning. I miss those days so much and only wish I could have one more day with them. Everyone had already gone to bed, well I ended up waking up and coming out in the living room where my Pop-Pop was sleeping and I guess I woke him. Needless to say, he told me that I had better get to bed or Santa Clause wasn’t going to come. Next thing you know, I look out the front window at the house and I see the silhouette of:

Yup, you got it…Santa and his reindeer sitting in our front yard. I recall running back to my room faster than I’ve ever ran before.

Still to this day, I question myself… Perhaps Santa is real!

Do you have a childhood story and/or story that relates to the holidays? If so, please share it – I’d love to hear them!

Go check out more blog swappers over at Riding the Roller Coaster!

]]> http://wifeofasailor.com/2011/12/14/holiday-blog-swap/feed/ 7 Wifey MilspouseHolidayBlogSwap2011 Raindeer Rudolf Sleigh http://wifeofasailor.com/2011/12/08/its-a-scent-sational-party/ http://wifeofasailor.com/2011/12/08/its-a-scent-sational-party/#comments Fri, 09 Dec 2011 01:40:04 +0000 Wife of a Sailor http://wifeofasailor.com/?p=2000 ]]> Nothing is more memorable than a smell.  One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains; another, a moonlit beach; a third, a family dinner of pot roast and sweet potatoes during a myrtle-mad August in a Midwestern town. 
~Diane Ackerman, A Natural History of the Senses 

Note: You now have until sometime in January to enter!!

Have you heard of Scentsy? I’m sure most of you have. If you haven’t, you are truly missing out.

Scentsy is a flameless candle that comes in a bajillion scents (I’ve counted… there are exactly a bajillion). The reason I got hooked on Scentsy is because there is no flame and if one of our bumbling animals tips it over, it’s won’t burn them (won’t burn kids, either, but we don’t have any).

Also? I’m have a bit of ADD when it comes to scents. I like to burn different ones on different days, depending on my mood. And it’s hard to do that with candles because they are so bulky.

Anyway, to make a long post much shorter, I’m having a basket party over at Mommy Taco’s place through December 31st! You can purchase it all the way up through the 19th and still get it in time for Christmas! It’s a perfect gift for anyone still on your list. Even the guys. Huzzy takes a travel tin with him underway. He loves it.

Bonus? I’m going to do a giveaway for anyone who reads my blog and purchases from the party. I’m not sure what yet (I’m still unemployed), but at the VERY least, I’ll buy you a  trio scents of your choice. However, if my party is as big of a success as the last one, I’ll do a MUCH BIGGER giveaway. So if you purchase from the party, leave a comment here and I’ll put you in for the drawing =)

Double bonus? You can figure out my first name since Mommy Taco used my real name =P

**Note: The giveaway is from me, not MommyTaco or Scentsy. I will purchase the items and give them away myself.

Oh man oh man, oh man! You have no idea how excited I am about this. I looove Christmas.

I have always loved Secret Santa. I love the slyly learning about the person you are getting a gift for and finding things about them and finding that absolutely perfect gift that just screams them.

So, this year I’m going to be hosting the very first (that I know of) MilSpouse Secret Santa (yes, fiancees and girlfriends can sign up as well!). I can’t wait to see what everyone gets for each other. This is going to be something that I will match on my end so no one will know who each other has.  I’m going to start matching after the first week and if we get more people signing up after that, then I’ll do subsequent matches but they will not go past Saturday, November 12th (and it is subject to close before then).

I hope you all are excited about this. I really want everyone to have fun with this.

However, because I’ve been a part of several online Secret Santas and we did the MilSpouse Secret Santa last year, I know that rules must be set… but I know all you lovely spouses won’t need them because you are so incredibly awesome. But this way, we are all playing by the same rules.

1. The first rule is to HAVE F UN.
2. The gift is to be a $20 gift. This does not mean you have to SPEND $20 just because you got an awesome deal. Or, if you are one of those crafty people who I envy, if what you make is worth $20… that is just fine! If you spend more than $20, that’s fine, just know that others will be getting you a $20 gift. Oh, and if you do decide to go over…  let’s not get too carried away.
3. The $20 does not include shipping. Shipping is extra. We have several MilSpouses who live overseas, so if you are willing to ship overseas (though I believe most of them have APOs), please let me know on the signup form.
4. If you don’t get “as good of a gift” as you’d like, please don’t complain or be snarky because this is not what the holiday season is about. If you don’t receive a gift at all, please let me know ASAP.
5. If you are matched with someone and find out later you are not able to participate for any reason, please let me know ASAP.
6. In order for the gifts to arrive on time, OCONUS gifts will need to be sent by Saturday, December 10th via Priority Mail (you don’t have to ship Priority if you send this earlier), except for those places beginning with a zip code of 093, which will need to be sent by Saturday, December 3rd.
7. Reveal who you are when you send the gift… or afterward. While this is a Secret Santa until gift time, I’d love for you to know who your awesome match is.
8. Please thank your Secret Santa for your gift. Please. Either via mail, e-mail or by a post on your blog. I know you all won’t forget to do this because you all are so awesome!
9. Also, please email me when you have shipped your item. That way, I know you’re done! wifeofasailor(at)gmail(dot)com

Tips

1. Don’t be afraid to post anonymously on your recipients blog asking questions. Or have a friend do it. Or sign up for a free mail account and email your recipient questions. Or, as a last resort, feel free to ask me to email them a question for you.  Be creative, be fun. For my Secret Santas, I usually create an “evil elf” who asks questions in rhyme. Lots of questions so the person has no idea what I’m even trying to ask about.
2. Be creative. Find something that they love. Send something from your home state or where you currently live.
3. Send cards to your recipient as the days get closer… hint (or don’t!) at what an awesome gift they are about to receive. Everyone loves to get something in the mail!
4. Pleaaaaase show off what you got on your blog… I’m going to live vicariously through all of you.