Category Archives: deployment
Month of the Military Child – Reserve Kids
Childhood is the most beautiful of all life’s seasons.
~Author Unknown
April is the Month of the Military Child. Deployments and serving in the military is tough on the servicemember and the spouse, but it’s equally as hard (if not harder) on the servicemember’s children. Military children often need more support than a civilian child, especially during deployments.
This month, to honor our military children, I’m dedicating each Monday to Month of the Military Child. Since we don’t have children, I’ve asked a few guests to blog about their experiences with military children and provide some insight into how we can help these children excel during what may be the toughest time of their young lives.
My second guest post of the month is about a side of the service that is often overlooked… the Reserve side. As a reservist myself, I thought it was important to highlight the children who live as civilian children… until they are thrust into the military life with a deployed parent.
This guest post will also highlight some fantastic organizations that can help both active and reserve families.
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Hi all! I am so excited to do this post for Wife of a Sailor because there are so many things available to help through deployment that many just don’t know about!
Let me introduce us – My husband calls me Princess so that’s what I go by… so that makes me a Soldiers Princess (I just love saying that). I am a 30ish wife of a deployed soldier (a 16 month deployment, thank you Army Reserves!) and mom to a 6 year old (although she often reminds me that she is ALMOST 7, in fact that reminder started the day AFTER her 6th birthday), AKA Diva. We live in Southern California and LOVE it here. I work full time; run my custom military wife shirt company, volunteer a lot and act as taxi service for Diva. I also write a blog over at tiarasandacus.blogspot.com. It’s my place to clear my head, rant about stupid people and this deployment… but also to offer my sound (loopy at times) advice on all things deployment related. I have found great comfort in not being alone thanks to the blogfamily!
My husband is in the Army Reserves. We have a much different life than an Active Duty family, mainly when deployment comes around. We have to learn about Tricare, which we only have for a year at a time. We have to switch doctors for a YEAR… of course our civilian Dr does NOT take Tricare and the Tricare Dr does not take Blue Shield! We don’t necessarily live close to a post to use the Commissary or the PX. We don’t have military wife friends that can sympathize or offer their support. We have civilian friends who compare a deployment with their husbands 4 day business trip to Topeka, KS. (They totally understand being a single mom for a bit… REALLY!?) There is no concept of living each day worrying about your soldier, your child… your future. With all that said, there are some benefits for wives and our kids because of the reserves.
First of all please try to attend the unit’s Yellow Ribbon Briefing – There are a series of classes. The one prior to deployment is mandatory for your soldier and optional for the family. As the wife, it’s a great thing to go to. You can learn a little about your benefits and who to call during deployment for your medical, in case of emergency… those things. The Army pays for your travel, hotel and per diem for you and your children (no matter how many rugrats you have, they even provide childcare!).
I will admit my MilSpouse friend and I are using an upcoming one as a girls’ weekend on the Army! It’s boring as heck for most of it (a 53 slide PowerPoint presentation on what to do if you by chance have $500,000 in the bank. Most of our guys didn’t have $5 in the bank due to a pay mess up but whatever) BUT there is some useful information and phone numbers you can get to help. There are also 2 or 3 done after the deployment starts. I have avoided most as I can’t stand sitting in a classroom with a bunch of gossipy wives BUT I am going to the one about reintegration because, lets be honest it’s a concern we all have.
OurMilitaryKids (www.ourmilitarykids.org/ ) – AMAZING group that will provide UP TO $500 for extracurricular activities for your children includingsports, fine arts and tutoring. We all know that our kids need to stay busy while their mom or dad is deployed… both for their sanity and ours. This grant is given based on cost of activity and length of deployment. We used it for gymnastics and it paid for 8 months of her gymnastics class, and then reapplied for tutoring. It was very easy to do. I supplied a copy of orders, LES and information for the activity. The check was sent directly to them within a few weeks. You can also apply for a grant more than once in a 365 day deployment.
NACCRA – (www.naccrra.org/) National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies. Many of us either work or go to school so taking our spouse out of the picture makes life difficult for scheduling. When hubby is home we can switch off on who drops off or picks Diva from school. NACCRA supplements your daycare cost and will help you locate a daycare if needed based on the nearest branch post. Ours is based off of daycare costs in BARSTOW and we live in Orange County. They pay everything over what the average daycare is on Fort Irwin. I had to supply copies of my pay stubs (or school schedule if you are in school), his LES, the daycare needs to be approved as well. The last day of every month I fill out a form showing what days she went to daycare, then the daycare and I sign it and email it. The check takes about 15 days to receive to daycare. This is in place for the entire deployment!
Tutor.Com – (www.tutor.com/military) Free online tutoring for the children of a deployed service member. We haven’t signed up for this mainly because our daughter is in 1st grade and it doesn’t seem to be very user friendly for that age.
Keeping busy throughout the deployment is needed and helpful to pass the time.
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Check back next Monday for another awesome guest blogger!
Month of the Military Child – Operation Military Kids
We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
~Stacia Tauscher
April is the Month of the Military Child. Deployments and serving in the military is tough on the servicemember and the spouse, but it’s equally as hard (if not harder) on the servicemember’s children. Military children often need more support than a civilian child, especially during deployments.
This month, to honor our military children, I’m dedicating each Monday to Month of the Military Child. Since we don’t have children, I’ve asked a few guests to blog about their experiences with military children and provide some insight into how we can help these children excel during what may be the toughest time of their young lives.
My first guest post is about a fantastic organization called Operation: Military Kids.
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Hi, I’m Pamela, Navy wife, mother of a teenage daughter, and you can read more in the About Me section of my blog, When Good People Get Together. Today my focus is not on me, but on military children. I was a military child for thirteen years, and now my daughter is entering her seventeenth year of the military lifestyle. It’s been an adventure and a challenge. 
Did you know that military children are considered a special needs category in the same way that children who have physical, emotional, or developmental disabilities are considered special needs? Military children can suffer from emotional challenges due the deployment of one or both parents. Military children experience all the trauma of separation but much more intensely because they are children. I’d like to introduce you to an awesome program, Operation: Military Kids, which provides programs and activities for military children to help them cope with and adjust to the upheavals associated with deployment.
Operation: Military Kids is the U.S. Army’s collaborative effort with America’s communities to support children and youth impacted by deployment. Regardless of whether families are experiencing deployment for the first time, the second time or another in a series of multiple deployments, OMK’s goal is to connect military children and youth with local resources in order to achieve a sense of community support and enhance their well-being. (Source: http://www.operationmilitarykids.org)
OMK is a partnership between Army Child and Youth Services and the USDA/4-H Headquarters. Army Child and Youth Services funnel funds down to each Land Grand State University into the 4-H programs in each state. They knew they had to get into the civilian communities to get support to military youth and families wherever they live, because after 9/11, they found that the ensuing war was being fought by tons of Guard and Reserve members, all of whom left families behind in civilian communities, not on the big military bases. So, Army Child and Youth Services searched around for an organization with state-by-state coverage and presto!! 4-H was the perfect fit. They realized that the Cooperative Extensions (the Cooperative Extension at each state University is the headquarters of each state’s 4-H program nationwide) were the perfect partners to get resources and support out to military kids and families in every community in the country. After all, the 4-H system reaches even the most remote parts of the country, so no matter where military families live; there is a County Agent and a 4-H club nearby.
My daughter and I became involved with Operation: Military Kids as a part of our 4-H club’s community service efforts. We first got involved at the ground level – the preparation of Hero Packs. Hero Packs are backpacks full of items to keep children occupied in the initial deployment period, and then to keep them connected to their deployed parent after that. The backpacks include fun items like card games, Frisbees, and small toys, communication tools like writing paper, note cards and a journal, and support materials from local organizations that specialize in fun programs and events for kids. As we were putting the backpacks together, we did an exercise that helped demonstrate what military children miss when their parent deploys. In a yearlong deployment, the parent is absent from every holiday, birthday, school concert, and graduation, and for our 4-H members, from every horse or dog show, every award banquet, every field trip. Our club was privileged to attend a Yellow Ribbon Night event, where parents received final pre-deployment details and the backpacks were handed out to the children. My daughter is the only military child in her 4-H club, so the others were able to meet other military children and gain a better understanding for what it must be like to be separated from one or both parents for a lengthy period.
Operation: Military Kids provides a myriad of fun and low-cost programs and activities for military children. There are events, workshops, day and family camps going on throughout the year. In addition, Operation: Military Kids provides workshops for educators and teens to help them communicate the effects of deployment on children. I encourage you to check out Operation: Military Kids in your state.
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Next week: Reserve military children and some ideas and organizations to help those kids who generally only deal with the military when mommy or daddy is deployed.
Update on My Life
When the world says, “Give up,”
Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
~Author Unknown
I’m such a bad blogger. My blog has been filled mostly with MilSpouse Friday Fill-Ins. And that’s not right.
I fell in love with the solarium that is off the kitchen and faces the backyard.
You all know back in January that we put an offer on a house and it was accepted. We are still waiting to close on the house. Yes, still waiting. It seems as though a bank I did business with in the past was remiss in finishing paperwork that would close out the account. When I found this on my credit report back in November (a good example as to why you should check out your credit reports for FREE each year as mandated by the government!) I immediately started working to get it resolved. It was supposed to be finished last August, so it was a total surprise to me that it wasn’t in November.
It was finally resolved enough to continue with our mortgage on the house (but won’t be complete complete for another 30 or so days. Ugh!). We are supposed to hear back from the underwriters today. I am hoping there aren’t any “conditions” we have to meet because we really need to close Thursday. I have a feeling that if they come back with “conditions” it will be that it has to be completely closed on my credit report… and that will take 30 days to get there.
A small part of the backyard that features a HUGE huckleberry bush, an apple tree, a cherry tree and grapes that drape a swing gazebo.
We’ve already asked for two extensions. I highly doubt they will give us a third. Especially for a month. I bet they would for a few days but not a month.
The other problem continues to be our landlords. We have the house until the 31st, but I’m not sure if they will let us stay beyond that. And even if we close on the 31st, we will need a few days to move out and then CLEAN the house so that it’s so clean they HAVE to give us our deposit back (which we really need because after Chase’s illness, we have no savings anymore). I’m still not sure of the situation here.
There was another “inspector” that came to the house and took pictures from the outside. I asked him if he could tell me what was going on and he said that he’s called out in one of three situations (he’s not from the bank, but the bank hires him). He said it could be:
- They are trying to refinance/re-structure the mortgage.
- They are more than 30 days late on payments.
- They have filed for bankruptcy.
He said that in the third option he is only told to do a drive-by, not take photos, so that is not it.
Our rec room that will be great for parties. Picture is taken from the wet bar area.
Um, let’s see here. We were told that the house was being sold and the “buyers” ran into some paperwork issues with their bank. Yet, these buyers have never stepped foot inside the house and there has never been an inspection of the house that is required by banks for mortgages. The house has also never been on the MLS, there’s never been a “for sale” sign outside and there has never been a Realtor lock on the door. If they were refinancing a loan, I don’t see why they would tell us they are selling it and have buyers.
So that leaves only the option that they are more than 30 days late on the loan. Which makes sense to me given everything else. I wouldn’t doubt that they are CLOSE to foreclosure or bankruptcy, either. So I’m hoping that they will give us a few extra days (of course we’d pay). Heck, if they are having money problems, I can’t see why not…. that’s cash in their pocket.
In other news, it’s about that time again. Tonight is our Pre-Deployment Meeting. *sigh* It feels like he just came home. But, it’s been nearly three months and in the (non fast-attack) submarine community… that’s it. I feel bad that he’s going to miss another summer. But, we should be on shore duty starting next May, so hopefully he’ll be here to enjoy it next year!
What I’m Giving Up For Lent
When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
~Harriet Beecher Stowe
Dear World,
I have thought long and hard about it and I’ve decided I would like to give stress up for Lent. I think I could sacrifice what has been a constant in my life for the past couple years. I mean, I’m at least willing to try.
Unfortunately, with my heart dog possibly having a tumor/cancer and may have to be put down, a house that doesn’t seem to want to close because of stupid banks who were supposed have this paperwork completed SEVEN MONTHS AGO, landlords that can’t seem to tell us if we can stay longer in the house and may only give us a few days’ notice to leave, me still being on unemployment (and since I’ve just passed the year mark, I’m getting really depressed about that) and other stuff… I’m not sure if that’s even possible.
Maybe, instead, I should just give up my sanity for Lent. Yes, my sanity. It seems to be leaving me anyway. That is what I’m giving up for Lent.
Let’s just hope it comes back AFTER Lent. Seriously.
Signed,
Wifey, who doesn’t want to be a homeless-jobless-heartdogless, person next week.
P.S. My only saving grace is that Huzzy is home right now. I’m not sure I could do this without his support. I hate that they are in hard-core training again for their right-around-the-corner deployment. It feels like he just got back a few weeks ago. Oh wait… he did.
So Happy Together
“Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together”
-”So Happy Together” by The Turtles
This pretty much sums up how I am feeling right now! Twenty months of hell= finished! We’ll now actually have a few months together before he goes to sea again!
