Wife of a Sailor » Navy

One-Armed Wonder and Other Musings

Wife of a Sailor — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 20:19:52 +0000

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
~Jennifer Yane

It’s finally happening! I’m going to have surgery in exactly four weeks. While I’m scared and nervous, I’m also so excited. I sure hope this will finally fix my shoulder.

Unfortunately, the doctor isn’t sure what is wrong. My MRI came back fine, but he wasn’t expecting to find anything on it. He said labrum tears (which is what he’s expecting to find) are hard to see on MRI and because it’s been 18 months months since the injury, he said it would have been even more unusual to actually find something. He also says there is a possibility of me having stretched ligaments (like a rubber band that’s been stretched and won’t go back in place). If it’s the labrum tear, he’ll fix that by shaving off the flyaway pieces and, depending on the severity and type of tear, re-attach it. If it’s a stretched ligament, he will have to tighten it back up.

The doc has said the goal of the surgery is pain relief and the prognosis is “good to excellent.” That’s good news for the most part. If all I get from this surgery is pain relief, I’ll be happy. He says there’s a good chance that I will have pain the rest of my life. There’s also a moderate chance that if the ligaments are fixed, they could be fixed too tight or too loose… and then I’d have to have surgery again. And while he expects me to be back in Navy-shape six to 12 months after the surgery… there’s a chance this won’t happen. Which means I’d be medically separated.

But I’m focusing on the positive… I have a GOOD chance of lessening the pain after this surgery. I’m so excited about that. I’d love to sleep more than 3 or so hours without waking up and having to re-adjust my sleeping position. I’d LOVE to sleep on my left side again. I miss it. And my right shoulder gets tired of being the only one slept on.

According to the doctor, I will need care 24/7 for the first 10 days. After that, I should be able to return to work since I do office work. I’m going to have to rent an “ice machine.” Apparently, it’s a gizmo that is wrapped around the shoulder and delivers a continuous flow of cold water to keep the area iced and the swelling down.

Huzzy has told his command about the surgery but they haven’t given him the okay that he can take care of me for either that day or for the entire 10 days. And while I know I have friends in the area who wouldn’t mind shuttling me to the hospital for the surgery (while it’s total anesthesia, it’s a same-day hospital stay/surgery), I loathe to ask people to help. I will if I have to, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t really want to.

I’ll be in a sling for quite a while and I’ll still be in it when Huzzy goes on his next patrol (deployment). This should be our second-to-last one before shore duty. Four in 2 1/2 years so far. Pretty normal for our community except deployments 2 & 3 happened back-to-back and that’s what’s going to happen to deployments 4 & 5. That’s not normal but we’ll have been with three different commands during these five patrols, so it happens. The final deployment looks like it’ll be a long one (so far). Oh well, I know it will (or should) be our last, so once we get through this one, we are one away from being home free! Well, at least for a little bit.

As I go through my daily routines, I’ve been thinking about how that will be with a sling. And not just a sling, but I won’t be allowed to move, turn or lift my shoulder for fear of un-doing whatever fixing/tightening the doctor will do in there. I’ve wondered things like….

How in the WORLD do I get a shirt on?

Not to mention my Navy uniforms… how am I supposed to wear those and still be in regulations?

I drive a stick shift… uh…..

How do I put muzzles on the dogs?

How do I open a jar?

The bathroom. ‘Nuff said.

I am going to have to become a one-handed pecker. (get your mind out of the gutter, I’m talking a hunt-and-peck typist)

How do you pull a chord for the push-mower while holding down the bar thing on the handle?

I’m glad I don’t have kids and have to deal with them one-handed. But dealing with the dogs should be interesting.

This should be quite the adventure… and one I will hopefully not have to repeat. The Navy hasn’t given me an LOD (Line of Duty) letter yet, so right now, I’ll have take those 10 days off unpaid and also not be able to do my second job and lose the pay from THAT. The letter was supposed to be here a month ago. My choice is to either do the surgery now and hope they will eventually back-pay me or put it off… and have the surgery while Huzzy’s deployed.

Have any of you had labrum surgery and/or tightening of the ligaments/tendons? How did it go? Am I worrying about not having help afterward for no reason?

A Job, My Pain and the Navy… Oh My!

Wife of a Sailor — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 18:29:22 +0000

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
~Robert Orben

For my regular readers (those who don’t come here ONLY for MilSpouse Friday Fill-In) may have noticed that I haven’t written a real post in… oh, about a month. Of course, I still blog once or twice a month over at SpouseBuzz.Catch me over there, too!

On the job front.
I started my new, full-time job on July 25th. I’m working for a tech company and am creating and heading their public relations and marketing department. The hope is in the next 12-18 months that I’ll be hiring one or two people under me.

It’s less than 10 miles from our house (yay! no 3-4 hour roundtrip commute to Seattle!) and the pay is quite good, especially for this side of the sound. Hopefully, we’ll be able to pay off all our debts except the house and Huzzy’s truck within the next year. That would be SO nice!

I’m still doing the respite care approximately 16-20 hours a month and then, of course, my reserve duty. With all three jobs, I end up doing 18-20 day stretches with no day off. Quite the change from only working 2-7 days a MONTH that I’ve done since March 2010. But, again, it’ll be good to pay off bills. We are going to continue living on the same budget that we did when I was on unemployment, with one exception… we are going to get $100 each a month for “play” money to do whatever we want with it.

This is something I’d suggest for any couple to do: if you can afford it, give a set amount of money to each person each month. Each person can choose to do what they want with it and spend it on whatever they want. I’m a saver and will save the money and Huzzy is a spender and will spend it that month or the next month. He can buy MORE fishing gear or things for his motorcycles or whatever he wants and I have NO say in it as long as it comes from his personal money. Same goes for me. That way, there’s no arguing about “wasted” money from either side because… hey… that was their money to do what they want with.

Case-in-point: Earlier this year, Huzzy bought an Army trailer for $400 that he thought he could sell for $1,000 (since that’s what they were going for online). It’s still sitting in our yard. It hasn’t been sold. So while I can bemoan the fact that it’s taking up space in our yard, I have no reason to complain that we spent $400 on something and haven’t gotten our money back. That’s Huzzy’s problem because it’s his money.

I also started volunteering back in May as a kitten foster mom for the local humane society. To date, I’ve volunteered for 536 hours. I foster kittens and so kittens without moms the humane society says to log 10 hours a day and for kittens WITH moms (like the ones I have now), I log 8 hours a day. Woo-hoo! I love volunteering and there’s nothing better than coming home to cute, sweet kittens who make you laugh by their playful antics and then make you smile by the way they fall asleep in your arms.

On to my medical fun.
I saw an orthopedic surgeon in June at the Naval Hospital and he basically said he thought the radiologist report from my MRI in May was “overzealous” and that he wasn’t going to do anything with it (which, from talking to many medical type people… doesn’t happen. All orthos they’ve seen defer to the radiologist report). So he gave me a cortisone shot because he said all that was wrong with me was inflammation in my shoulder. Guess what? It didn’t work. Surprise, surprise. If it was that easy, my body would have fixed itself in the last 18 months.

So I went to a second opinion out in the civilian world. And that ortho wanted me to follow the radiologist report and get an MRI with dye contrast. He ALSO said I showed signs of neck problems and ordered an MRI for that (helloooo… I’ve been asking for that since the beginning, too!). My MRI was yesterday and we’ll see what the report says when I go back to ortho #2 next week for a reading. FYI… having dye injected into your shoulder joints is NOT pleasant. And it’s much worse after the procedure and the next day. Yay, fun. Hopefully this diagnoses it, though, but Ortho #2 said he doesn’t expect it to… he expects it to just rule things out.

I just need this thing fixed. Or the darn arm to just be cut off. One of the two would help. I wake up a minimum of 3-4 hours a night from the pain/discomfort and have to find another sleeping position. The only reason I haven’t been kicked out of the Navy for it yet is because it’s an injury that happened on Navy time. But there is still that possibility if this can’t get fixed or if it can’t get fixed well enough. Joy of joys.

On to Navy fun.
Huzzy was supposed to join his crew in the middle of their patrol (deployment). That never happened since the boat ended up having missions that prevented them from surfacing. So, in order to make up for that, he’ll be joining the opposite crew (non-fast attack subs have two crews) for THEIR patrol and then turning around and doing his own crew’s patrol after that.

So, yeah… between now and next May when Huzzy gets off sea duty and on to shore duty… not going to see him more than a couple of months total. And not all at once. Par for the course, I guess since this will be our third set of holidays married and I still have yet to spend a Thanksgiving or Christmas with him. We did end up spending the 4th of July with each other and that day, combined with ONE Easter in the 2 ½ years that we’ve been married, constitutes the entirety of our total holidays spent together since we were married.

So that’s where I am right now. Three days into a 19 day stretch with no days off from work (since this weekend is drill weekend) and loving being back in the working world and making money to get this family out of all debt. I have come to HATE debt of all kinds, though I can see the need for mortgages and SHORT car loans (I will never have more than a 3 year car loan again and want to get to the point of being able to pay outright for a car).

Military Spouse Appreciation Day- You Might Be a MilSpouse If…

Wife of a Sailor — Fri, 06 May 2011 14:08:00 +0000

A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it’s you and me
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart.
~Anonymous

Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. It’s a day to appreciate the sacrifices the spouses endure as they support their loved ones in the military.

Back in February, I asked my MilSpouse Friday Fill-In participants to finish the following sentence: “You Might be a MilSpouse If…” And you sure did. In fact, I had exactly 101 responses (though some blogs are now non-existent so I can’t use them all) and I was absolutely thrilled with that. Some of the responses were so similar that I have put the best (written) of them down but credited all who basically said the same thing.

I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I did.

You Might Be a MilSpouse If…

“… you go weeks without hearing from, talking to or seeing your spouse and only start to worry when it starts hitting the two month mark.” submitted by Wife of a Sailor
“… you have a better support network online while your spouse is deployed than you do with your own family.” submitted by Wife of a Sailor
“…you live life expecting the unexpected!” submitted by T, C and E
“…you refer to your friends as “my civilian friend so & so” or “my military friend so & so” during conversations. This can confuse civilians when you live in a non-military community.” submitted by Married/Single Parent
“…majority of your laundry consists of camo, tan shirts, and green socks. (It seems like a never ending supply.)” submitted by Oh, How Delightful!
“…you can pack and unpack a house within a couple of days. Like a pro!” submitted by Air Force. Wife. Life.
“…you use a military id, but the bank teller wants a “real” id (especially when you have a special military bank account)” submitted by I Married Into the Army
“…there are more challenge coins laying around your home than nickels, dimes, etc.” submitted by I Married Into the Army
“…your husband pulls out the pro mask anytime you’re sick.” submitted by I Married Into the Army
“…you’re tempted to dye your pet’s hair green (or blue in the future to match the Class A’s).” submitted by I Married Into the Army
“…you know to shine the Class A shoes w/Windex.” submitted by I Married Into the Army
“… you know you can never make plans ahead of time, because the Army always finds ways to change them.” submitted by It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To
“… getting a power of attorney is a regular occurrence for you.” submitted by The Squid’s Accomplice
“… if your kids are all born in different states.” submitted by The Squid’s Accomplice
“… if you get a little embarrassed when your kids call anyone in a uniform “daddy”, particularly in an exchange or commissary.” submitted by The Squid’s Accomplice and Our Crazy Life
“… you still find colorful little moving tags on various pieces of furniture even though it’s been two years since you PCSed. Bonus points if there are multiple tags stuck atop one another.” submitted by To The Nth
“… you don’t panic when the GYN walks into the room wearing ACUs.” submitted by Our Crazy Life
“… you don’t flinch when a man with a gun asks for your ID at the grocery store!” submitted by Our Crazy Life
“… your 8yo son tells you how the mall ‘downtown’ is not a secure location.” submitted by Our Crazy Life
“… you know that a month long separation is short, no matter what anyone says.” submitted by Ramblings of a Military Wife
“… you own at least one “I Love My Soldier” t-shirt, bumper sticker, purse or anything camouflaged!” submitted by Honey Bunches of “Oaks”
“… you get bored after living in one place more than a year.” submitted by Adventures of M-Squared
“… you use so many acronyms when talking about your day that those outside of the military community have no idea what you are saying.” submitted by My Life as His (Air Force) Wife and Army Soldier, Army Wife
“… you might be a MilSpouse if you read all of the homecoming banners and smile over each one, all the while thinking “What will my banner say?” submitted by Young But Not Completely Dumb
“… you take your computer to bed each night with hopes that you might catch your husband online should he get on SKYPE, Facebook, messenger, etc.” submitted by A Florida Girl and Her Soldier
“…you can unpack an entire house in less than a week….or your garage still has unopened boxes and you moved in over a year ago!” submitted by Always Moving Forward
“… you accidentally start to put down your spouse’s SSN when filling out documents about yourself.” submitted by Every Branch
“… you save voicemails from your spouse, so you can hear his/her voice any time you think of them.” submitted by Smurfolfauge Cafe
“… your hubby is on deployment and you wake up in the middle of the night and you check your email…more than once before you fall back asleep.” submitted by The Thrifty Military Wife
“… your civilian friends think you’re crazy when you say “Oh, he’s only going to be gone six months this time, that’s not so bad.” submitted by Life on Planet Caddick
“… you were once the shyest person on the earth and then you married your military member and now it is life or death to be outgoing! (well not really death, but you would be really lonely).” submitted by Anchor’s Away
“… you have 2 anniversaries: the Justice of the Peace anniversary and your “wedding” anniversary.” submitted by The Diary of a Mrs.
“… you spend Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day, Your Birthday and other big holidays away…all in the first year of marriage.” submitted by The Diary of a Mrs.
“… you ALWAYS buy insurance when traveling because plans change.” submitted by The Diary of a Mrs.
“… you long for the stench of their gear…it might be nasty but it means they’re home.” submitted by three krakens & a momma
“… if you spend more time away from your guy than with him.” submitted by Flying High With My Flyboy and Life and Times of a Displaced Jersey Girl
“… you answer your husband’s texts with “Roger” submitted by Army of Two
“… you can never plan too far in advance and you never really know where you will spend Christmas until it gets a lot closer to December.” submitted by Julie the Army Wife
“… you had to buy a body pillow to make it through a night alone in your bed during a deployment!” submitted by Simply Sunshine and Daisies
“… you never know what’s going on when because one day you are about to face a deployment, the next week there’s no longer a deployment.” submitted by Mrs. CNB
“… you automatically pull out your ID to get to where you live and it doesn’t faze you when there are guys guarding the gate with rifles.” submitted by Our Okinawa Life
“… you have three jobs on your resume for the past two years.” submitted by Stay At Home Mom and Marine Wife
“… you ALWAYS have a current Power of Attorney on hand.” submitted by A Marine & All His Girls
“… you know your spouse’s social security number better than your own. (I am constantly confusing the two these days.)” submitted by L to the Third
“… when you hear a civilian gal whining about her husband being gone on a business trip for a few days and babbling on about how she misses him so terribly even though he texts her throughout the day and calls her every night, your eyes get kinda squinty and you look away and keep your mouth shut because your mama told you that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it. But you’re really thinking to yourself, “ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?!” submitted by the C.W
“… if you’re a single parent, but married. I joke with my friends that I’m a single mom for next few weeks/months when my husband leaves for training.” submitted by Army Wife and Mom
“… you speak in acronyms and understand them!” submitted by Tiara’s & ACU’s and Just a Girl
“… you never know where you’ll be next year.” submitted by Pattie the Chaplain’s Wife
“… your husband has more boots than you have shoes.” submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench
“… you have a love/hate relationship with Murphy.” submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench
“… you refer to everyone not carrying a military ID card as a civilian.” submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench
“… you know all the last names of who your husband works with, but rarely their first names or gender.” submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench
”… you use a POA…whether your husband is deployed or standing in the next room.” submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench
“… you love the military…no, you hate it….wait, you love it….damn you military!…military, you complete me…Ef you military and the tank you rolled in on…you think the military rocks…the military can suck it… “ submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench
“… you routinely ask for a military discount because you don’t want to give California more money than it deserves.” submitted by Wookie & Co.
“… you see all those “Support The Troops” causes on Facebook and laugh to yourself because you support them to the fullest extent by supporting your own spouse (in more than one way) and their whole crew.” submitted by A little of this, A little of that
“… you & your husband do repeatbacks. “Honey, would you take out the trash?” “Taking out the trash, aye.” submitted by NH Girl Displaced
“… you have been married longer then you have been physically together!” submitted by The Peacock Tale
“… you move to a foreign country to have your family together only to find out 2 weeks after you get there your husband has to leave for the field for over a month. Learning new traditions, the language, the location, the do’s and don’ts by yourself in order to inform him when he gets back.” submitted by Painting My Canvas
“… you trip over miscellaneous uniform items in the morning while making your half-asleep trudge to the bathroom.” submitted by Maine-ly Taryn
“… your toddler knows the word “commissary.” submitted by Live it. Love it (or not). Write about it.
“… you celebrate holidays based on duty schedules.” Live it. Love it (or not). Write about it.
“… you have 20 different sized curtains to fit all the different windows of the houses you have lived in.” submitted by Perfectly Imperfect
“… your husband talks in acronyms and you understand him completely.” submitted by I&J
“… there are at least 30 different states and 15 different countries represented in your list of Facebook friends.” submitted by Marrying the Navy
“… you refer to your friends’ husbands by their call signs… cuz you probably can’t remember their real names anyway.” submitted by Marrying the Navy
“… you plan your life around an upcoming move, only to find out that your orders have changed and you are moving somewhere totally different at a different time of year. And of course, you take all of this in stride, because that’s what the military life is all about.” submitted by Little Moments Like This
“… you start thinking of how you’ll deal with life events without your husband there.” submitted by Eights on the Move
“… you know what a POA, TDY or PCS is…or if you can use numerous other acronyms in everyday life correctly.” submitted by Many Waters
“… you go weeks, sometimes months without seeing or talking to your husband.” submitted by Not Just an Army Wife
“… if TMO has ever packed your trash can for a PCS with the trash still in it! … True story… happened to us when we moved from Oklahoma to Georgia… my god did our apartment stink for about 3 days before we figured out which box had the trash still in it! GROSS!” submitted by Just a Geek Named Jess
“… if you do your husband’s laundry after he has come home from an exercise and your washer is filled with little yellow or orange ear plugs.” submitted by Just a Geek Named Jess
“… if you’ve ever shouted “Fly By” or “Low Pass” into the phone at someone 2 seconds before a jet roar’s past you over head.” submitted by Just a Geek Named Jess
“… you’ve ever gone to the commissary and seen a woman breast feeding while shopping.” submitted by Adventures in Life
“… you don’t own any blue pens. Because you are very aware that you can only use black pens when filling out ANYTHING for the military!” submitted by Creative, Crazy and Camouflage
“… when your car or sink break and you simply grab the tools and fix it. No men required.” submitted by Trust. Love. Believe. Bake.
“… your military husband or wife says there’s a rumor of an upcoming deployment, and you don’t toss it up as “it’s just a rumor,” you take it seriously and start planning ahead. You don’t mess with deployments, and taking a rumor lightly doesn’t happen too often.” submitted by Between the Lines
“… you constantly have to explain to employers why you have had so many jobs at 25 and why you have a random area code.” submitted by my-inspired-nest
“… come holiday time and your spouse is deployed, although you miss them, you don’t miss a beat because you’re so use to them missing the holidays.” submitted by Life as Mrs. JPT
“… his gear starts to take over your house!” submitted by Chances I’m Taking
“… you are an independent dependent.” submitted by Destination: RN!
“… you have an expired Texas license, with a Florida address, and you live in North Dakota.” submitted by Married My Airman
“… you automatically use phrases like “Good to go”, end phone calls with “Out” instead of goodbye, and start calling your time off from work “leave” instead of PTO or day off.” submitted by Standing By Him
“… you celebrate holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc months after they actually occurred.” submitted by Sarah Ruth Today
“… when your spouse calls and tells you that they have news, your first instinct is to ask how long this deployment/exercise will be.” submitted by The Pavlik Perspective
“… when telling a (non-military) story to some colleagues, you got weird looks for saying “he discharged his weapon” rather than “he shot his gun.” submitted by Christine’s Little Blog
“… you can give directions to the commissary in three states or more, a career MilSpouse if it’s six or more!” submitted by When Good People Get Together
“… your driver’s license is shoved in the back sleeve of your wallet because your military ID now has priority.” submitted by Cows and Combat Boots
“… you answer your phone for any unknown number at all hours of the night or early in the morning because your husband is calling you.” submitted by Living, Learning, Loving as a Marine Corps Wife
“… you wake up converting time to the Middle East.” submitted by Keep Calm and Soldier On
“… you have a minor panic attack when you miss your hubby’s call . . . and then you suddenly realize that it’s actually okay . . . because he is home!” submitted by Scrubs, ACUs and One Crazy Ride
“… you’re talking to one of your best friends, who’s coming to visit you in a month, and you keep telling her: “Remember to bring your driving license. You can’t even see my house without your ID – they’ll ask for it at the gate.” submitted by Free Borboleta
“… if you and your husband get into a vehicle one hour after your wedding, and drive for 6 hours because he has to be back at the barracks by 5am to check in and get orders changed that include his new wife.” submitted by Diapers, Dogs and Deployments
“… a temporary long distance relationship is no biggie.” submitted by Raising Roscoe
“… hearing noises from the gunneries and artillery at home don’t faze you anymore.” submitted by Life is a {Beautiful} Mess
“… you know more about your twitter/blogger friends than your IRL ones.” submitted by Modern Meets Traditional
“… you sleep with your phone AND computer by your bed!!” submitted by Randomly Robyn
“… you have nieces or nephews you have never met, except on Skype.” submitted by The Evolution of Peacocks
“… after a deployment any time your spouse has to be away you think “oh it’s not that bad, can’t be worse than a deployment.” submitted by Pink Champagne, Gatorade and MREs
“… you’ve heard mortar rounds going off on in the background of a phone call during a deployment and that was considered “normal.” submitted by Tegan’s Musings
“… you actually know your spouse’s SSN by heart and have every power of attorney there is!” submitted by From Army Brat to Navy Wife
“… you are married to your computer. (It’s the first thing you visit when you wake up in the mornings, it’s the first place you go when you walk in the door, it’s the last place you are at nights, and last but not least, you even make dates with it.)” submitted by The 4M Project
“… your children respond to your command to come here with, “stand by one mom”. and I’m totally serious when i say that this occurs in our home with my 4 year old!” submitted by Cammo Style Love
“… you are married not only to your spouse but also phone, computer and any other communication device you can think about, you can cook mac ‘n cheese as well as change oil or tires in your car, and you do not stress over small stuff – such as changing plans.” submitted by Nina Grennon
“… 2 weeks after your love goes back to war, you finally get around to washing the towel he last used and left hanging in the bathroom.” submitted by for ever & for always, no matter what
“… your spouse comes home and says they are going TDY for 3 weeks and you say, “ONLY 3 weeks?” submitted by The Albrecht Squad
“… you can catch flaws on your spouse’s uniform better than they can.” submitted by Combat Boots & Pointe Shoes
“… you use acronyms that are longer than the words they abbreviated.” submitted by Megan Dub-Yuh
“… you might be a MilSpouse if: you only write in pencil because EVERYTHING is subject to change. ” submitted by Our First Deployment– ALD & ARP
“… you tear up when you hear “Proud to Be An American,” even though you’ve heard it 50 times by now.” submitted by Our First Deployment– ALD & ARP

So which ones did you laugh at, nod your head to or relate to the most?

Military Spouse Appreciation Day NAVADMIN

Wife of a Sailor — Fri, 06 May 2011 05:04:54 +0000

Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls.
~David Thomas

This is directly from the CNO (Chief of Naval Operations) regarding tomorrow’s Military Spouse Appreciation Day. I thought you all might enjoy the good things said about us from our CNO:

UNCLASSIFIED//

FM CNO WASHINGTON DC//N00//

TO NAVADMIN

UNCLAS

NAVADMIN 158/11

MSGID/GENADMIN/CNO WASHINGTON DC/N00/MAY//

SUBJ/MILITARY SPOUSE APPRECIATION DAY//

RMKS/1. MILITARY SPOUSE APPRECIATION DAY, WHICH WE OBSERVE THIS YEAR ON MAY 6, IS AN OCCASION TO HONOR THE MANY NAVY SPOUSES WHO SUPPORT OUR SERVICEMEN AND WOMEN IN THE WORK OF OUR NATION. WHILE BALANCING FAMILY LIFE, MILITARY OBLIGATIONS, AND OFTEN CAREERS OF THEIR OWN, OUR HUSBANDS AND WIVES ENABLE THE GOOD OUR NAVY ACHIEVES ACROSS THE GLOBE EVERY DAY.

2. AS WE CELEBRATE MILITARY SPOUSE APPRECIATION DAY, WE THANK OUR SPOUSES FOR THEIR LOVE AND SUPPORT THROUGH COUNTLESS

DEPLOYMENTS; FOR THEIR PATIENCE OVER MANY HOUSEHOLD MOVES, SOMETIMES TO PLACES FAR FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY; FOR THE FAMILIES HELD TOGETHER, FOR THE ANNIVERSARIES, BIRTHDAYS, AND HOLIDAYS CELEBRATED ALONE; FOR THEIR HANDS EXTENDED TO ANOTHER MILITARY SPOUSE OR FAMILY WHEN THE NEED WAS THERE; AND FOR THE PRIDE IN SERVING THEIR COMMUNITIES.

3. THE LIFE OF A MILITARY FAMILY IS A DEMANDING ONE, AND MANY OF ITS BURDENS NECESSARILY REST WITH OUR MILITARY SPOUSES SO OUR SAILORS CAN FOCUS ON THE MISSION AT HAND. I EXTEND MY HEARTFELT THANKS TO ALL OUR NAVY FAMILIES FOR THEIR INVALUABLE CONTRIBUTIONS TO OUR READINESS, AND I URGE YOU TO TAKE THE TIME TO THANK YOUR SPOUSE FOR THEIR ROLE IN YOUR SUCCESS. HONOR THEIR SERVICE TO THE NAVY AND THE NATION, AND LET THEM KNOW HOW MUCH THEIR SUPPORT MEANS TO US, NOT ONLY TODAY, BUT EVERY DAY.

4. RELEASED BY ADMIRAL G. ROUGHEAD, CHIEF OF NAVAL OPERATIONS.//

Month of the Military Child – Exceptional Family Member Program and Autism

Wife of a Sailor — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:00:28 +0000

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.
~Walt Streightiff

April is the Month of the Military Child. Deployments and serving in the military is tough on the servicemember and the spouse, but it’s equally as hard (if not harder) on the servicemember’s children. Military children often need more support than a civilian child, especially during deployments.

This month, to honor our military children, I’m dedicating each Monday to Month of the Military Child. Since we don’t have children, I’ve asked a few guests to blog about their experiences with military children and provide some insight into how we can help these children excel during what may be the toughest time of their young lives.

My last guest post is about something that you will never need… or something that you will rely on day in, and day out. It’s the military’s Exceptional Family Member program, but this post specifically highlight’s the Navy’s program and how it pertains to the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Your own branch may differ.

This guest post is by a good friend and Navy wife, who is known as minivangirl on Twitter. She and her husband, a submariner, deal with a lot. A LOT. And I’ll be making another post on how you can help them out specifically, hopefully later this week.

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Chicky excited for cupcakes.

I am not a writer. I am not a blogger. I am mother of a child who has autism. I am also a Navy wife.

When you first hear the diagnosis of Autism, it can send you into a tailspin. Worries of “what if” and “what now”.

The very first thing you should know is, I am proud of you.

“What is this crazy lady talking about?? Why is she proud of me??”

You paid attention to your child. You noticed something wasn’t quite right and you acted on it. You questioned, you read, you researched and you went to the doctor. Maybe even more than one doctor. You listened to the little voice inside of you and you sought answers. The answer was Autism or any one of the Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Give your kiddo a hug. Nuzzle their head a bit. Pull back and take a look…..this is the same wonderful child that was right here yesterday, the only difference is that now you have a diagnosis of Autism.

There are a multitude of books, website and support groups to help you along the way. Read, search, and learn. That’s not why I am here today. Today I am focusing on what steps you need to take and what programs are available to you as a military family.

One of the best guides out there is Lisa Rupe’s “Guide for Military Families Affected By Autism.”

http://www.tacanow.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/militaryfamiliesfinal.pdf

The very first thing you need to do once you have a diagnosis is enroll your child in the EFM (Exceptional Family Member) program. This program helps to make sure that you are sent only to bases that can support your child’s needs. Imagine if you were sent to a base in the middle of nowhere, without a Developmental Pediatrician for hundreds of miles! That is not a good situation and could even mean a second move to support your child’s needs. EFM Program monitors what services are available in each area and tries to match you with a base that can help.

http://www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil/portal/page/mhf/MHF/MHF_DETAIL_1?section_id=20.40.500.570.0.0.0.0.0¤t_id=20.40.500.570.500.20.0.0.0

In the Navy, once your child is enrolled, they will be assigned a “Category.”

There are six Navy EFMP enrollment categories:

A life-changing moment. For more information, check out http://www.giveforward.com/raisethewoof

Category I – for monitoring purposes only
Category II – pinpoint to specific geographic locations
Category III – no overseas assignments
Category IV – major medical areas in CONUS
Category V – homesteading
Category VI – temporary enrollment – update required in 6-12 months

The next step would be to enroll in ECHO (Extended Care Health Option)

http://www.tricare.mil/mybenefit/home/overview/SpecialPrograms/ECHO

ECHO provides:

Princess Chicky getting ready to go on a walk.

Medical and rehabilitative services
Training to use assistive technology devices
Special education
Institutional care when a residential environment is required
Transportation for institutionalized beneficiaries to receive authorized ECHO benefits.
Assistive services, such as those from a qualified interpreter or translator
Durable equipment, including adaptation and maintenance
In-home medical services through ECHO Home Health Care (EHHC)
In-home respite care services

- ECHO respite care: 16 hours per month when receiving other authorized ECHO benefits
- EHHC respite care: up to 40 hours per week (eight hours per day, five days per week) for those who qualify
- Only one can be used in the same calendar month, they cannot be used together.
- Only available in the 50 United States, The District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Educational Interventions for Autism Spectrum Disorders (EIA) services through the Enhanced Access to Autism Services Demonstration

I would also suggest you think about your child’s PCM. How do you feel about your relationship. Yes, I know it’s your child’s PCM, but you are your child’s voice. You need to feel comfortable talking to this person. Do you feel you can ask questions? Can you approach them? Do you know the easiest way to reach them? Is the PCM accessible? Your child’s doctor and you will be working together quite a bit, make sure it’s a good relationship.

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I’m a Slacker

Wife of a Sailor — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 20:40:55 +0000

When I look at my hands and in my heart, I see stress as Lady Macbeth saw blood.
~Berri Clove

Yeah, I have been avoiding posting a real blog post for a few reasons. First of all, Huzzy was on leave for two glorious weeks where we just hung out, slept in and spent time with one another. And we didn’t kill each other, ya’ll. Wow!

The other thing is that we are in the middle of buying a house and there’s been a lot of stress involved with that. I know house buying is stressful (heck, I’ve been through this before five years ago!) but this is just ridiculous. I don’t want to go into all of it, but suffice to say there are a few hiccups and hoops we have to jump through that most don’t and they were supposed to be cleared up by now. But they aren’t.

Add to the fact that our landlords from hell (okay, to be honest, they’ve left us alone since July, but before that, they were hellish enough to encompass 10 years of stress) have sent us a letter that they aren’t renewing our lease after 28FEB. We knew it was a possibility because they were thinking of moving back into the house themselves after a year. But that leaves us without a back-up.

Our house is supposed to close on 24FEB. That leaves just four days to move into it. If it happens. If it doesn’t, well, we are only three weeks away from the end of our lease. We should know in the next week if the house isn’t going to happen. If it doesn’t, we are going to have to try and find a house that will allow three large dogs and people who don’t quite have perfect credit (though we do qualify for a mortgage, so it’s not that horrible).

That’s not an easy task. Most places only allow small dogs. What the heck is up with that? Do they realize that small dogs are generally yappier and, in general, have a harder time being potty trained? I mean, they have smaller bladders so they tend to have the potential of having more accidents. Granted, if they have an accident it’s not as big, but still. I don’t get the big/small dog thing. My dogs sleep 22 hours a day with just enough time in the day left over to eat twice, have some pets and take a lap around the yard before coming in and collapsing again for the next 22 hours. Heck, we generally have to WAKE them up in the morning to go outside. Because they just want to sleep.

So if our house falls through, we’ll have just a week or two to find a house. If we can’t (we all know how long the application process, etc can take), then we might be homeless for a while. As in… sleeping in our vehicles with our dogs and putting our stuff in storage or on a Uhaul or something until we found a place that would take us.

I’m nervous. Most of you who have been reading my blog/following me on Twitter for more than a year know our luck is horrible at best. And for some reason, while I love our house we have the offer on, I just can’t seem to PICTURE us living there. Totally different than when I bought my last house. I could easily see myself living there. And that scares me. We could really use some good thoughts and prayers that this works out.

In other news, I’m supposed to be going to the Centennial of Naval Aviation in San Diego later this week to work in my Navy capacity. I say supposed to because, true to form, my orders haven’t been even touched yet. And I’m supposed to leave in 3 days. If it happens, it’ll be great to be in the 70 degree sunny weather. Time to soak up some Vitamin D! Woot!

When I get back, Huzzy is going to have ANOTHER week off. Yes, indeed, that’s THREE WEEKS off. They are getting an extra week off because his boat won a big award. Of course it’s not like they are getting the leave for free, it still counts against their balance, but they are allowed to take it if they have it. And boy does Huzzy have it. He still has 85 days on the books (before his previous two weeks’ leave) so he has a ton. That’s what happens when you are deployed so often. He has to use up something like 5 more weeks this year or he’ll lose it at the end of the fiscal year (because they get 30 more days over the course of the fiscal year).

So that’s what’s been going on with me. Long post, I know. LOL.

Merry Christmas… Submariner Style

Wife of a Sailor — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 16:00:14 +0000

T’was the Night Before Christmas-Submarine Style
By Sean Keck

T‘was the night before Christmas, and what no one could see,
The men with the dolphins were under the sea.
Most of the crew was flat on their backs,
Snoring and dreaming all snug in their racks.

Those men on watch were making their rounds,
Some manning the planes or listening for sounds.
Back in maneuvering or down in the room,
They all hoped the oncoming watch would come soon.

I‘d finished some PM’s whose time was now due,
And hoped for some sleep, even an hour or two.
Against better judgment I took a short stroll,
And found myself wandering into control.

The Nav had the Conn, the COW was in place,
The COB had the Dive and a scowl on his face.
The helm and the planes were relaxed but aware,
The QM and ET were discussing a dare.

To comply with the orders the Nav told the Dive,
To bring the boat up with minimum rise.
The orders were given and soon they were there,
At periscope depth with a scope in the air.

The QM confirmed our position with care,
The broadcast was copied, we brought in some air.
The Nav on the scope let out a small cry,
He shook his head twice and rubbed at his eyes.

He looked once again to find what it was,
That interrupted his sweep and caused him to pause.
Try as he might there was nothing to see,
So down went the scope and us to the deep.

I asked what it was that caused his dismay,
He sheepishly said, “I’m embarrassed to say.
It could have been Northern Lights or a cloud,
Or a meteorite,” he wondered aloud.

“But to tell you the truth I guess I must say,
Whatever it was it looked like a sleigh.
And though it passed quickly and never was clear,
I almost believe it was pulled by reindeer.”

We laughed and teased him and I got up to go,
When our moment was broken by “Conn, Radio.”
They told us a message was just coming in,
We looked at the depth gauge and started to grin.

“Radio, Conn, I feel safe to say,
Your attempt at a joke is too long delayed.
If it had been sooner it might have been neat,
But I doubt we’re receiving at four-hundred feet.”

“Conn, Radio, you can come down and see,
We’re not playing games to any degree.”
I headed aft with nothing better to do,
Surprised by the fact it was still coming through.

It stopped and was sent to control to be read,
The Nav read it slowly and scratched at his head.
Then again he began but this time aloud,
To those that now waited, a curious crowd.

“To you Denizens of the Deep and men of the sea,
Who risk your life daily so others stay free.
I rarely have seen you on this, my big night,
For far too often you are hidden from sight.

But purely by luck I saw you tonight,
As your scope coaxed the plankton to glow in the night.
And lucky for me I’ve finally won,
The chance to say thanks for all you have done.

I know that you miss your families at home,
And sometimes you feel as if you’re alone.
But trust what I say and I’ll do what’s right,
I‘ll take something special to your families tonight.

Along with the gifts I’ll take to your kin,
I‘ll visit their dreams and leave word within.
They’ll hear of your love, and how you miss them,
I‘ll tell them that soon you’ll be home again.

It might not be much I know that is true,
To thank you for all the things that you do.
But I’ll do what I can, while you do what’s right,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.”

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Please keep in your thoughts those who are serving away from their families… and for those who are spending this holiday season without their loved ones because they gave the ultimate sacrifice.

So Ready to be DONE

Wife of a Sailor — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 06:26:49 +0000

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.
~Lamartine

Probably time for a real post. I’ve just been pretty… I guess a good word for it is… despondent. And I’m sorry, but this post might be a bit melancholy. But that’s how I’ve been feeling lately and this blog is about, well, the ups and downs of being a military wife. This is a down. But there are definitely ups.

I did write the post about being thankful my husband is deployed. And that is still true. But it doesn’t make it easy. And if our time apart was only normal, I’d be fine. It’s just that this last month of the 20 months from HELL is killing me. Seriously… living together for just six weeks in a 20 month period is no fun (and that wasn’t even six weeks all at once!). Now, we’ve had about eight weeks total together in that time frame, but that was two weeks of vacation and we were sleeping in a room of someone’s house. That wasn’t living together.

Our second anniversary is coming up in just a few months. And I was excited that we were going to be able to spend it together. Until I got an email from Huzzy yesterday (woo-hoo for the first email since before Thanksgiving!) and he told me that on his short time between this deployment and the next one in the spring, he’s going to be sent to a school for a month in San Diego or Hawaii.

I have no idea when that would be as he didn’t tell me. But I can guess what when that would be (warning: pessimism coming out)… my guess is it will be end of February to the end of March. You know, just in time for us to move into the house we are going to buy and our March 21 anniversary. That would be the worst time for us since I’d have to move us entirely by myself and we’d not have our anniversary together. So that’s my guess.

Sure, let’s just throw in separation during our anniversary. In 2010, so far we’ve missed New Year’s, my birthday, 4th of July and the entire holiday season coming up. That’s, of course, not counting the exact same holidays that were missed in 2009 (except New Year’s 2009, we were together for that). We know we won’t be together for my birthday and it’s scheduled for us to be apart for the exact same holidays next year. So why not? Let’s take away the only other celebration we have during 2011. That would be three years in a row of NO celebrations except for our 1st anniversary in March 2010, which I’m eternally grateful to have had together.

Three years. ONE celebration. NO holidays. Not even Easter.

I’m about done with this and ready to have him home. I was looking forward to having him for a few months but now with the school, that’ll be a few months minus one. Not to mention that their homecoming has been moved to the right TWICE in the last week.

I am lucky that I have an awesome friend here in Washington. I am actually starting to consider her my best friend. She relies on me a lot to help out (her husband is on our previous boat and they are currently gone too) because she has a 2 year old and a 2 1/2 month old. I love spending time with them. Just today, she called and asked me to help her take them to get photographs taken. I have no idea how she would have done it without the extra set of hands.

But it’s not all about me helping her. She calls me to make sure I’m okay and has invited me to Christmas with her. We also just talk. Talk like girls sometimes need to talk. I’d be so lost without her right now. We mutually lean on each other. If one stepped to the side, I fear we’d both fall down.

So Blessed and Thankful for My Husband to Be Deployed

Wife of a Sailor — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 02:04:32 +0000

Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.
~Robert Caspar Lintner

I see a lot of my non-military friends posting on Facebook and hear them talking to me over the phone. And I realize I am so lucky. And blessed.

I’m lucky that I have the privilege of sending my husband off to sea to protect our country and I feel sorry my civilian friends aren’t that lucky.

Wait, what? Yeah, I know many of you must be thinking this. But hear me out.

While we go through the pain of saying goodbye to our spouses (and if you are married to a submariner, you get this privilege every three or four months), we also get the privilege of being apart from them for several months with no contact.

What? You say that doesn’t make sense? I’m crazy?

Well… while my husband is gone, I’m lucky enough to be forced to stand on my own. I can’t talk things over with him because we have virtually no communication. I have to do stuff for myself. From fixing faucets to dealing with dogs that are on the verge of dying to dealing with everyday problems… I do it on my own. And learn to be even more self-sufficient.

Being alone sucks, don’t get me wrong. And right now, approaching our second set of holidays in a row apart and knowing that when he comes back, we’ll have spent only 6 weeks of the last 20 months together… and not all at once… really, wholly sucks. And I sometimes envy my civilian friends who get to have their loved ones close every day. Knowing they get to be there for the holidays. Not having to schedule time together and vacations and holidays around deployment and work-up schedules.

But we, as military spouses, are able to have something so much more than civilians. While we know the pain of being apart, we know the sweet joy of being together. We know, through the devastation experienced by our fellow military spouses, the complete sorrow of losing a spouse too soon. And we don’t take being together for granted.

But because of that and our frequent separations, we know how to savor each and every day we have with our loved ones.

We know how to enjoy every sweet minute.

We know the absolute joy of homecomings.

We have constant “honeymoons.”

We are forever falling deeper in love with our spouses… thanks to the separations we must endure.

I am so blessed and thankful for my husband to be deployed this holiday season.

A Real Post

Wife of a Sailor — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 18:04:04 +0000

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.
~Lamartine

Well, I’ve been back home from the Defense Information School for a bit now. Huzzy is gone. I missed him by SUCH a small window it hurts.

With him on the different type of submarine, we are going to have even less communication than the last boat. It’s been two weeks-ish since I heard from him (I’ve received one email since he left). I really don’t expect to hear from him until they are ready to return after the holidays. It’ll be tough. But we went through the holidays last year without any communication, either. That was seven weeks without an email. This is expected to be much longer.

I think the part that makes it harder this year is I’m in a new place. And I won’t be with family. At all. My mom (who I haven’t seen since February) was going to come out in November and celebrate the holidays early with me but is now not able to.

It’s really bummed me out. Especially since we only had 12 days together after the last deployment before I left for Maryland and then he was gone before I got back.

However, I’m really excited about the MilSpouse Secret Santa that I’m putting together. I think that will really help my spirits. I hope you all will join in!

I also really need to get photos up of my trips around the DC area while I was in Maryland.