The First Goodbye

Parting is such sweet sorrow.
~William Shakespeare’s  “Romeo and Juliet”

I’m sorry but Shakespeare is full of bullroarky.   Parting with your husband while he goes off on a deployment–or in our case, moving to a new duty station alone before deploying–is never “sweet.”  And if it is sweet, I’d have to say that you need to re-evaluate your marriage.

I’m not going to sugar-coat it.  Saying goodbye was tough.  Really tough. And when Huzzy started tearing up himself, it just made it that much worse.  Not only were my tears for my sadness, but seeing that he was hurting too made me hurt that much more. He also said that having to get in his truck and leave me was much worse than leaving on deployment… because when he’ll deploy, someone else will be driving away–he’ll just be on the vessel that is going. Last night, he was the one who had to put one foot in front of the other and leave.

But we’ll be okay. I know this because our love is strong. And it’s what we have to do. As my mom has always told me when things got tough, “Other people can do it, so you can do it too.”  I have used this as my motto from the time I was young.  Thanks, Mom, for that phrase.

And to help get through the first few weeks of our first separation–what I’ve been told are the worst of the worst–I have a lot of projects left to do.  I still have to nail the back of our kitchen counter on, take all the doors off the cabinets, sand them down, add moulding and stain, paint the outside of my house and paint most of the walls inside the house.  That’ll keep me busy for a while!

What does make it hard is that other than a few people, no one at work knows he’s gone. They can’t know because I want to keep my job. I don’t think they’d fire me, but who knows… my immediate boss does know and she’s pretty close to the top of the food chain. So when people asked, “Did you have a good weekend?” I have to smile, and lie.  What I really want to say is, “No, I didn’t.  My husband of less than two months left me to drive by himself 2,300 miles to a new duty station and I’m stuck here.  I should be making that long drive with him.  Now I’ll have to do it by myself with three dogs and two cats.  No, I’m not fine and my weekend was not good.”

But I won’t. Because I’m a Navy wife and it’s what we do. We don’t let people know when our husbands leave for reasons of OPSEC (mine isn’t deploying just yet so it’s no secret he’s gone–no secret unless you work with me, that is!).

It’s the life of a Navy wife.



4 thoughts on “The First Goodbye

  1. My heart aches for you too. Goodbyes suck in ways that cannot even be verbalized. All I can say is stay busy, which apparently you won’t have a hard time doing, and give yourself time to cry too. You don’t have to be superwoman.

    Wifey: THANK YOU! You are the first person who “gets it” that I’ve found. People either tell me “oh poor you your life totally sucks” or “suck it up, this is what you signed up for.”

  2. Pingback: Thursday Thirteen #5: Top Five Searches to My Blog « Wife of a Sailor

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