Freak-Out Wednesday

Now that it’s all over, what did you really do yesterday that’s worth mentioning?
~Coleman Cox

Yesterday, I freaked out. Why? Because I was driving to the other side of the state (yes, a 5 hour round trip!) to go to

One day I want to see these... just not now!

One day I want to see these... just not now!

my follow-up appointment for this blasted toe.

And while I was driving, I was thinking of all the things I needed to accomplish (as ya do!). My mind fell on “I need to pick up my birth control prescription by Sunday.”  You see, back in August, my *uh-hem* womanly time fell during one of the two weeks I was supposed to be spending with Huzzy. Not only that, but it was during the time that we were going whitewater rafting and camping. In woods that have bears. Who like… dead things. Kinda like… oh never mind, you get it.

Anyway, I decided that instead of taking the dummy pills, I’d just start on my next pack so I’d skip that lovely time all together. I figured when Huzzy was gone on the submarine that I’d just get back on the regular schedule and with him not around, we wouldn’t have to worry about any… ooopies.  So that’s what I was doing this time around.

As I was driving and remembering to pick up my prescription, I realized it had been a while since I’d been off the BC (which I had to do to get back on my normal routine of my “week” starting on Sunday). Then I started thinking… Oh. My. God.  It’s been many days since I took that last pill. Um, something should have happened by now. And it hasn’t. And I’m usually bemoaning the fact that it comes early.

Now, Huzzy and I want children for sure. It’s just that right now, with us only having been together for 9 weeks out of our now 7 month marriage… well, we kinda want to spend some time together. Not to mention the fact that I may not have a job yet when our house sells so we will be reaaaally strapped for money. And we just can’t do that right now.

So as soon as I figured that out, I remembered that it would have been my dad’s 62nd birthday that day. Hmm.  Then the next billboard sign was for a birthing center and featured a big smiling baby with “Happy Birth Day” on it.  Hmm.

Then I turned on the radio to distract myself and what comes on? Carrie Underwood’s All American Girl, the song I love to use to tease my husband with because he wants boys and I want at least one girl (he’s terrified to have a girl).  The song lyrics include, “Since the day they got married/He’d been praying for a little baby boy/…..But when the nurse came in with a little pink blanket/All those big dreams changed.”

And since I’m big on “signs” I was really starting to freak out. Then I thought back to the other day when I smelled something that the firefighters didn’t. Um, isn’t a sign of pregnancy an enhanced sense of smell?

I kept trying to tell myself that I wasn’t pregnant. I didn’t feel differently. I wasn’t throwing up. And that I was on birth control.  So it shouldn’t happen, right?   So after I came home from the doctor’s appointment, I stopped at the store to pick up a test… a digital one so I couldn’t imagine a faint line or anything… and brought it home to use this morning (’cause I know that’s when the hormones are concentrated).

Of course, by the time I got home, I was starting to notice some signs of Aunt Flo visiting. And by this morning, I was pretty sure she was definitely going to show up. I watch the “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” series too much to be completely sure of myself, so I took the test this morning.  Whew. No unplanned joy on the way.  I want kids eventually, but it’s just not the best time–for us or for potential babies–right now.

So yeah, I feel better. And better  yet, the doctor said that since I’m 2 weeks post-removal of the growth on my toe, it now only has a “slim” chance of returning. Yay!!!

I’m just going to ignore the sore throat that is starting…



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