Just… blah

One’s suffering disappears when one lets oneself go, when one yields – even to sadness.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry,
Southern Mail, 1929

Yeah, I’ve pretty much given up and just put all emotions/caring aside. If I don’t do this, I’m worried that this whole debacle that is the house will beat me down. I’m already nearly there. I’m in a deep funk and feel like I’m walking through a fog so the not caring is helping me not get farthing into said funk.

The only problem with this is: I now have no drive to work out and get better. Not good since I have my officer training school in less than three weeks. I need to at least get motivation for that. I need to try and take my frustration and pour it into that.

Heck, now that I think about it (and write about it), that’s about the only thing I can control in my life right now.  Wow, realizing that actually gives me some drive. I can’t control my life, but I can control that. Epiphany.

Now, onto things that I can’t control that I mentioned in my last post. Here’s the rundown. My mortgage company granted me a short sale opportunity a few months ago. They sent out an appraiser.

The appraiser screwed up. Was totally off base. Appraised my house at about $20,000 more than it should be. Used houses that were sold more than a year ago (Michigan market continues a nosedive and is much worse than 12 months ago) to make comparison numbers.  Used houses that had two car garages (mine doesn’t have any). Used houses that had full basements that had been remodeled. My basement is watertight, but not a living space at all.

So because of the outrageously high appraisal that came back, the mortgage company took 83% of that and said that was the lowest price they’d take for the house… which includes all fees, taxes, Realtor fees, etc. Once you add those into the equation, the price that a buyer would need to take out a mortgage on is higher than ANY other appraiser would appraise the property at.  Which means, if the house can’t appraise high enough, no buyer will be able to get a mortgage (well, unless they bring approximately 22% down payment to the table… but who does that, especially in this economy?).

So yeah. When the short sale time is done (in March), I will have the choice of continuing to pay the mortgage or doing a deed-in-lieu (DIL) of foreclosure. The DIL won’t have any of the legal ramifications of a foreclosure, but will have the same effect on my credit. Which is horrible.

But at this point, I’ve done all I can. I stayed in this house and tried to sell it for eight months (1o by the time I leave). I’ve offered to give a buyer my new appliances (like an awesome smooth-top stove) that I purchased two years ago and other things like that. Things that I’m not legally required to do, but that I was hoping would sweeten the deal. I mean, I’m already losing my entire inheritance from my dad (I used to put a down payment on the house), plus about $20K worth of improvements I’ve made on it in the 4 1/2 years I’ve lived here.

I feel bad. I’m not one to walk away from obligations. But this is something that is beyond my control. For my sanity, my health and that of my husband, we need to be done with this. I’ve tried all I could. I can’t rent this place. Renting in this area is bad… you are more likely to get your house stripped of everything including the copper pipes. And at that point, I wouldn’t have the choice to do a DIL.

So I’m beyond caring. Beyond worrying about it. But I think I’m going to keep reminding myself of the one thing I can control… getting ready for my officer school. I’m ready to get up at 5 a.m. tomorrow. Let’s go!

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7 thoughts on “Just… blah

  1. There is a difference between walking away from your obligations and walking way from your burdens. Don’t beat yourself up over making the best of a bad situation.

  2. hang in there, do what you need to do for yourself. No two situations are alike and so only you and your husband can figure out what’s best for the one you guys are in.

  3. Hang in there hun. Everything works out no matter what you do. You are not a bad person. There are so many good people just like you going though this.

  4. I think releasing yourself from worry over things outside your control so you can focus on that in which you do have a say is admirable. “[Your] sanity, [your] health and that of [your] husband” are far worthier of your efforts than some mortgage company staffed by unrealistic la-la-land dwellers. Forget ’em. It sounds like you’ve already found a good use for the energy you had been using to worry — with that motivation, you’re going to kick ass at your school!

  5. I’m so sorry 😦 I know this has been such a hard situation for you. But just think in a few weeks you will be with him again 🙂

  6. I think that Allison said it very well. It really does suck that there is nothing else that you can do, and that you’re losing all the money and effort you put into the house, but. It’ll be over, and you can move and live with your husband free and clear once it is done. Don’t focus on the details right now, just look at the end result.

  7. Hi there, finally got a chance to stop by your space today (I am dutchican on Twitter). I think that you have done the best you can in this situation and there is no shame in doing the DIL. My parents and brother are still in Michigan (both trying to sell their houses, actually) and it seems to me that there isn’t any way to get out of a house there without taking a huge, huge, hit. You have to do what makes the most sense for you and your family, it’s not like you just decided to not pay your mortgage. Hang in there!

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