A Strange Dream

A dream has power to poison sleep.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley, “Mutability”

Do you dream more or differently when your spouse is deployed? I do. And they aren’t always nice dreams. I’ve had dreams where my husband has died and dreams where my husband has left me… either for another woman or because he got bored with me.

The dream this morning was a little different. I was at a Navy school… DINFOS maybe? Anyway, we were going to be parachuting and I was all suited up (we do NOT parachute at DINFOS). I was somehow the DIV-O of the group again (I was during DCO school in February) so I was trying to rally everyone.

When we were finished with our meeting, I was asked by the person in charge if I wanted my husband to be there. I said sure I did but that he was deployed. Then the person asked if I was sure. I said, yes, I was because he was out in the middle of the ocean on a mission and was even on a blackout where we weren’t getting any communication.

So he said, “Well, then someone who your husband works for is here” as he pointed toward a doorway.  The person had a mustache and I replied, “I have no idea who that is.”

Then THAT person asked me if I wanted to see my husband. I was getting frustrated and told him yes, but my husband was deployed. He then pointed toward the doorway and my husband came out.

I slowly walked toward him and started bawling (like I do every time we see each other after being separated for a long time) as I fell into his arms. Tears were streaming down my face as I buried my head in his shoulder and breathed in his cologne…

… and I woke up with my head buried in his pillow with tears streaming down my face. It was 5 a.m. There was no way I was going back to sleep. So I sat up, took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my face. And I started my day.

So do you ever have dreams like that? Are they different when your loved one is deployed?


5 thoughts on “A Strange Dream

  1. It’s amazing how emotionally vivid dreams can be, isn’t it? The downside is waking up drained by the experience. As exhausting as that kind of dream can be, in a way I’m glad when I have the chance to “see” a far-flung loved one, if only in the sleepy firing of my own neurons.

  2. I think that we are all spiritual beings and when we dream we can do things that our conscious mind would not believe when we are awake. I think that your husband was visiting you not in a physical way but in a spiritual soul (soulmate) connected way. He loves you!

  3. ohhh agree I completly have different dreams, hubby is on deployment this year and I keep having failure dreams! I finished UNI 9 years ago, but having dreams that I have failed my degree, crazy, we are also waiting to hear word on our adoption and I have failure dreams about that too. Having a terrible time sleeping at the moment, I am alright coping with deployment during daytime hours, but come nighttime I think my inner worries come to the surface, sucks eh.

  4. Ugh. I hate dreams like that. I had one when DH’s sub was late coming back where his LPO called me and had a bus take all the families somewhere to greet all the guys when they returned. I watched everyone else reunite with their sailors and I just sat there, waiting. Eventually everyone left and I was there by myself. So…I’m going to say it’s totally normal. They’re upsetting but we remind ourselves that they’re only that–dreams–and do what you did: get on with your day. Hope yours is getting better.

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