The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.
So yeah. If you are following me on Twitter, you know the gut-punch I received Wednesday night. Those who have been following my blog know how little Huzzy and I have been together since we were married in March of 2009.
We were together for our first seven weeks. Then Huzzy PCSed to Washington state and I was left in Michigan to try and sell our house. I was there for 1o months alone. I was able to see him for about three weekends and one two-week vacation stint. Also during this time, we endured our first deployment, which included no communication for seven weeks… over Christmas and Thanksgiving, no less!
Huzzy helped me PCS to Washington about two months after he returned from that deployment. Five weeks later, he left on his second. When he returned from that one this past July, we had 12 days together before I left for the Defense Information School (where I am currently).
And here’s where it gets fun… we were supposed to be together for a few weeks before he went out on a short several-week deployment. We were supposed to have Thanksgiving and Christmas together. Then, I was supposed to have him for FOUR WHOLE MONTHS.
Huzzy has been switched to a different boat. It’s actually a different platform, though one he was on for nearly six years before he met me. They needed more people in his rate/rating (MOS) since they only had one. It’s a good move for him… he’ll get to be a Leading Petty Officer (LPO) at sea, which is a wicket that needs to be checked before would be able to become Chief or go LDO (officer). It’s really, really good for him.
But this new boat? It leaves for a deployment in a few weeks. As in… before I graduate from my school. As in… before I return home. There goes the holidays. He’ll return late this year/early next year. I was really looking forward to spending time with him… not coming home to an empty house again. It’s just very, very depressing. Especially since I have my own year-long deployment that will probably happen next year looming over me. And really, going from very little red in the “Donut of Misery” to nearly half red is very disheartening.
I just… need to stop wanting to see my husband. That will make it easier. I’m kidding–well, about the not wanting to see my husband. The other is quite correct.
Anyway, as I type, I am 39,000 feet in the air (yay in-flight wi-fi) just coming across South Dakota (according to Flight Aware) heading back to Fort Meade, MD. Even though we really couldn’t afford it, Huzzy and I decided after the news Wednesday night that we needed to see each other at least for three days. So it was nice to see him (though I’m returning more stressed than I was before–possibly a post on that in the future) but “see ya laters” are just become waaaaay too normal and don’t get any easier.
Semper Gumby, ya’ll… Semper Gumby.