So Blessed and Thankful for My Husband to Be Deployed

Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.
~Robert Caspar Lintner

I see a lot of my non-military friends posting on Facebook and hear them talking to me over the phone.  And I realize I am so lucky. And blessed.

I’m lucky that I have the privilege of sending my husband off to sea to protect our country and I feel sorry my civilian friends aren’t that lucky.

Wait, what? Yeah, I know many of you must be thinking this. But hear me out.

While we go through the pain of saying goodbye to our spouses (and if you are married to a submariner, you get this privilege every three or four months), we also get the privilege of being apart from them for several months with no contact.

What? You say that doesn’t make sense? I’m crazy?

Well… while my husband is gone, I’m lucky enough to be forced to stand on my own. I can’t talk things over with him because we have virtually no communication. I have to do stuff for myself. From fixing faucets to dealing with dogs that are on the verge of dying to dealing with everyday problems… I do it on my own. And learn to be even more self-sufficient.

Being alone sucks, don’t get me wrong. And right now, approaching our second set of holidays in a row apart and knowing that when he comes back, we’ll have spent only 6 weeks of the last 20 months together… and not all at once… really, wholly sucks. And I sometimes envy my civilian friends who get to have their loved ones close every day. Knowing they get to be there for the holidays. Not having to schedule time together and vacations and holidays around deployment and work-up schedules.

But we, as military spouses, are able to have something so much more than civilians. While we know the pain of being apart, we know the sweet joy of being together. We know, through the devastation experienced by our fellow military spouses, the complete sorrow of losing a spouse too soon. And we don’t take being together for granted.

But because of that and our frequent separations, we know how to savor each and every day we have with our loved ones.

We know how to enjoy every sweet minute.

We know the absolute joy of homecomings.

We have constant “honeymoons.”

We are forever falling deeper in love with our spouses… thanks to the separations we must endure.

I am so blessed and thankful for my husband to be deployed this holiday season.

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23 thoughts on “So Blessed and Thankful for My Husband to Be Deployed

  1. Amen! I totally agree with you. Being a military spouse makes me more aware and thankful of every moment I have with my husband. I treasure the holidays that we are able to spend together cause I know there is no guarantee that we’ll be together for the next one!

  2. Thank you for writing this. Though I haven’t gone through a deplpyment as a spouse, I went through too many to count as a daughter. I’m going to share this with my Mil and Non-Mil spouse friends.

  3. Thank you! I always feel so bad about enjoying my time away from my husband, I’m disappointed when his order are either cut short or cancelled, he is as well, but its different. I like being independent, I didn’t have that before we got married, I don’t really have that now, so those small breaks help. I feel better now.

  4. Silver Star,

    I don’t mean I’m glad he’s gone because I like it… just that I’m thankful that I get to TRULY learn how to enjoy the times we are together. I’m never disappointed when he comes back early.

    However, it always is nice to have some individual time.

  5. I 100% agree with you. The whole military experience has made me grow as an individual and my husband and I as a couple. We treasure every moment SO much more now, and even the little things in life are much more important. I still love getting those butterflies every time we’re apart, in anticipation of seeing him again 🙂

  6. I see what you mean, totally. I see some couples that spent way too much time together, and all they do is bicker and complain. When I’m with my hubby, I try and make the most of it because you never know when he’ll be gone for days/weeks/months/years at a time.

    Also, I like the new blog colors. For me, it’s easier to read.

  7. Thank you for this post! I completely agree. While deployment are hard, they have that silver lining. I know I am a stronger woman because of them.

  8. We always have our homecomings. That is so true. Our homecoming days are my top days in our marriage. Next to the birth of our kids. Now, with my husband on the cusp of retirement, I keep thinking “What am I going to do with him being home every night?” 🙂

  9. I agree. I will never forget standing in the airport watching my husband leave after R&R and holding our 3 week old son. Somehow, someway I made it through those next 8 months and it really did help make me a stronger person. I, too am grateful for that.

  10. I like your positive spin on something that doesn’t feel so positive most of the time. It is so easy to get wrapped up in ourselves and our little lives and lose perspective of the big picture.

    And thanks for filling out my getting to know you survey! I always love hearing your story about meeting your man.

  11. I love not only that you put this in writing, but that so many people agree! That’s what I’m talking about. I think making it as a military spouse is more about perspective than anything else. If we spend deployments pouting and whining, well then military life is going to suck, to put it simply. If we focus on the positive, but give ourselves the chance to feel the sadness every so often, then we’re much more likely to be successful and supportive. Well said, wifey!

    (btw…love the new look of your blog…nice!)

  12. Great post, thank you for sharing. And civilians really don’t understand that wonderful moment when you see your spouse for the first time in months and unbelievable surge of love and pride that come all at once.

  13. You wrote this so well. Thank you.

    It’s completely true: I learned so many things about myself that I never would have if I wasn’t a milspouse and was forced to stand on my own two feet when he’s deployed. And we can sit around feeling bad about our situations or we can take the opportunity we’re given (even if we only use it to watch chick TV and eat cereal for dinner while in our PJs).

    DH and I read an article awhile ago about a couple who willingly spent 9 months apart; we couldn’t believe that people actually would choose that. I also agree that I feel sorry for civilians that they don’t get the homecomings we do.

  14. I whole heartedly agree with you on this! I have learned so much during the times that P is away. Thank you for writing this ❤

  15. My husband and I were talking about this last night. He is leaving in February and I was down in the dumps. However, I remembered that the last deployment did us a great deal of good. It made us appreciate each other so much more. It’s the little things I take advantage of when he is home and to know that he does those things because he loves me, means the world to me. I’m grateful.

  16. Great post! I absolutely love the honeymoons at the end of the deployment. The connection is so special. Deployments do tend to make you grateful for the time you do get to spend with a spouse. 🙂 Well written!

  17. So true! We have re-evaluated our relationship after DH’s return from deployment and have a found a deeper appreciation for each other after a few months of struggle to reconnect.
    Great post!

  18. Pingback: MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #30 « Wife of a Sailor

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