So Ready to be DONE

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.
~Lamartine

Probably time for a real post. I’ve just been pretty… I guess a good word for it is… despondent. And I’m sorry, but this post might be a bit melancholy. But that’s how I’ve been feeling lately and this blog is about, well, the ups and downs of being a military wife. This is a down. But there are definitely ups.

I did write the post about being thankful my husband is deployed. And that is still true. But it doesn’t make it easy. And if our time apart was only normal, I’d be fine. It’s just that this last month of the 20 months from HELL is killing me. Seriously… living together for just six weeks in a 20 month period is no fun (and that wasn’t even six weeks all at once!). Now, we’ve had about eight weeks total together in that time frame, but that was two weeks of vacation and we were sleeping in a room of someone’s house. That wasn’t living together.

Our second anniversary is coming up in just a few months. And I was excited that we were going to be able to spend it together. Until I got an email from Huzzy yesterday (woo-hoo for the first email since before Thanksgiving!) and he told me that on his short time between this deployment and the next one in the spring, he’s going to be sent to a school for a month in San Diego or Hawaii.

I have no idea when that would be as he didn’t tell me. But I can guess what when that would be (warning: pessimism coming out)… my guess is it will be end of February to the end of March. You know, just in time for us to move into the house we are going to buy and our March 21 anniversary. That would be the worst time for us since I’d have to move us entirely by myself and we’d not have our anniversary together.  So that’s my guess.

Sure, let’s just throw in separation during our anniversary. In 2010, so far we’ve missed New Year’s, my birthday, 4th of July and the entire holiday season coming up. That’s, of course, not counting  the exact same holidays that were missed in 2009 (except New Year’s 2009, we were together for that). We know we won’t be together for my birthday and it’s scheduled for us to be apart for the exact same holidays next year. So why not? Let’s take away the only other celebration we have during 2011.  That would be three years in a row of NO celebrations except for our 1st anniversary in March 2010, which I’m eternally grateful to have had together.

Three years. ONE celebration. NO holidays. Not even Easter.

I’m about done with this and ready to have him home. I was looking forward to having him for a few months but now with the school, that’ll be a few months minus one. Not to mention that their homecoming has been moved to the right TWICE in the last week.

I am lucky that I have an awesome friend here in Washington. I am actually starting to consider her my best friend. She relies on me a lot to help out (her husband is on our previous boat and they are currently gone too) because she has a 2 year old and a 2 1/2 month old. I love spending time with them. Just today, she called and asked me to help her take them to get photographs taken. I have no idea how she would have done it without the extra set of hands.

But it’s not all about me helping her. She calls me to make sure I’m okay and has invited me to Christmas with her. We also just talk. Talk like girls sometimes need to talk. I’d be so lost without her right now. We mutually lean on each other. If one stepped to the side, I fear we’d both fall down.

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18 thoughts on “So Ready to be DONE

  1. Oh Chica, that sucks. Big time. I’m sorry! If you need anything, let me know. Help moving (my strong hubby will help too!), need to get out of the house, want to get coffee/tea/lunch/see a movie, anything. and YAY for friends! I have some awesome ones here. The only downside is that they are also military and I’m dreading when they move. Boo.

  2. Thanks, Poe! We do need to get together. Let me take a look at my calendar. This week may not work but next probably will. What’s your schedule like?

  3. I’m free till the 23rd. I think I have something on the 23rd, just not sure what. It will come to me. But any day before that works for me. I’ve been wanting some Panera and I think there’s one in Gig Harbor. Does that work for you?

  4. Your twists and turns on this path are the worst I’ve ever heard. Friends are the best during these times. My husband just left for a long cruise and I was lucky enough to make a new pal who’s already been more supportive than I ever could have hoped for.

    Somday you’ll look back on this time and laugh, right?

  5. I am sorry you are having to deal with this right now. I have been through it as well. Until 2 years ago Chuck and I had spent more time apart in our 8 years of marriage than we had together. That is why we took I&I orders for 3 years so we could have some down time and actually be a couple. lol
    Keep your chin up right now. I am so glad you have a good friend to lean on. You know you can fly out to places that your husband ports. I was invited to fly to Guam, Aus, and Singapore when Chuck was on ship, because they would port for a few days or a week. I wasn’t able to go, but it would have been amazing to be able to take a trip with the hubs since we never got a honeymoon. If you ever need to vent….I am here for you. ;0)

  6. If anyone I know deserves a change in her luck, it’s you. I am so glad you have the support of good friends nearby; I just wish there was more we could all do to make the situation better.

  7. I wish I could say something that would make all your frustration disappear and make everything better, but I can’t. So I’ll just say that I really admire you for even being able to handle being away from your hubby so much. That takes a VERY strong woman and I am proud of you! Honestly, I’m not sure I could do that. I’ll pray that he’ll be home for your anniversary and that the months you do have together are what you’ve dreamed about. The military lifestyle isn’t for the faint of heart and you are handling it like a champ! *hugs*

  8. Someone once told me that the being a milspouse is the hardest job in the military…my heart sincerely goes out to you. I’m so glad that you have the support of good friends and, like I keep telling myself over and over again, eventually all of the many absences and missed holidays will be a thing of the past.

  9. *hugs* to you, in times like this good friends are a must. Sounds like you guys are really helping each other out. I hope 2011 ends up being easier for you guys and that you will end up spending more time together than you thought you would have.

  10. 😦 I don’t even know what to say. I think the same way you do, so I’d be planning for the school to be at that time also.

    I’m glad that you have a good friend there and I really really hope that something goes your way soon.

  11. You can go with him to his school. You’ll have to foot the bill for it, but I have friends who have done that. They had two kids, too. They just crashed in his hotel room for a few weeks. San Diego is a fun place to hang. School also tends to be easy duty; lots of free time for him. Unless that is just impossible with your schedule, I’d totally look into it. Unfortunately, I’ve found that finding time together often means being intensely creative like that in our six years of submarine deploying.

    It does suck, and I feel for you! Dual military is a tough life. I have nothing but admiration for those that can make that work. I’ve struggled some with only him in.

  12. I can sympathize! Gunlover was gone for our first Christmas, Valentine’s Day, both of our birthdays, and our first anniversary. And I found out last week, that he may be deployed again during our 2nd anniversary. Boo military! lol j/k. I understand..I used to be military too, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it!

  13. Ana… Unfortunately, it’s out of the question money-wise. It would cost us $30-$40 a day to have someone watch our dogs. I may be able to visit for a weekend, but that would be it.

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