Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.
April is Month of the Military Child. Since Huzzy and I don’t have children, I put out a call for guest bloggers to help out. I originally wanted to do a guest blogger every Monday, but I had so many fantastic responses that you’ll see a guest blogger every Monday and Thursday!
My first guest blogger is Poekitten from Many Waters. She’s pregnant with their first child. I figured starting out Month of the Military Child with someone who is about to have her first military child would be the perfect place to start. So here we go…
Hi, I’m Poekitten from Many Waters! I’m a born and bred New Englander who has been transplanted to the Pacific Northwest thanks to my husband (and the Navy). I love tea, other cultures, flip flops, warm weather and the view from our deck of Puget Sound. My husband, whom I call The Man, and I are expecting are first child in mid-July. We’re super excited and nervous too, all at the same time.
I’ve found that being a pregnant Milspouse isn’t all the different from a non pregnant Milspouse. I still do most of the things I did before I got pregnant, like cooking, cleaning, taking care of the furbabies (minus the catbox…loving it!), etc. The Man’s schedule is crazy thanks to being in the shipyard, so nothing has changed there. The biggest change so far is that I’m getting bigger and it’s getting harder getting comfy to sleep. I’m enjoying duty nights now cause I get the whole bed and all the pillows too myself.
Well, there might be one difference. The hormones. The hormones just magnify everything. I’m kinda ashamed about my reaction to his leaving for week long sea trials. I wanted to do nothing but pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all weekend. I made myself get out of bed but it was a challenge. I was appalled because we’ve endured much longer separations. A week is NOTHING. I was just so overwhelmed at the thought of him missing birthing class and a doctors appointment and having to deal with the dogs and the cats and just plain being alone. Even in the midst of it I knew it was ridiculous. I had no idea who this woman was or where she came from. I know that there are other milspouses who have had their husbands gone for the majority of the pregnancy. There are milspouses who have given birth while their husbands are deployed.
As I thought about it, I realized they had days where they wanted to hide under the covers too. So I did what I always go, what we milspouses always do. I put on my big girl panties and moved on. I’m not going to lie, the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream helped. I’ve been wrestling my emotions and trying to keep them under control. Thankfully, a pregnant women a break down is allowed and maybe even expected every once in a while.
So I’m doing what I do when he’s gone. I take care of the house and the furbabies. I eat all the food I like and he hates. I write down the thoughts that I want to share with him when he gets home. I sort through baby clothes and other paraphernalia that a kind friend has given us. As I do these things my mind is thinking, thinking about this life and lifestyle we’ve chosen. I realize, even as I mourn the idea that my daughter won’t grow up in one town like I did, that there is strength here. My daughter will learn how to be independent, how to face yucky situations head on, how to make friends in new places and how to deal with separation from loved ones. She’ll see how love between two people, even when they are apart, stays strong. She’ll have me to model those things for her. So I’m starting now, being role model for my daughter. If I can’t handle a separation from my husband when it’s just me, how will I be able to do it with a child?
As her daily kicks remind me, I’m not alone. It’s no longer just the two of us, The Man and I. There are three of us now. Thankfully as the two of us wait for her daddy to come home, we’re not alone either. We have the sisterhood of milspouses standing with us. So thank you ladies (and gents too!) for your support and strength. I know that none of us could do this very well alone.
In case you’re wondering, my emotions are all over the place again. I think a bowl of ice cream will help…