An Open Letter to Our (Future) Child

–No, I’m not pregnant. Or at least, not that I know of. Still waiting for results from our first round of Clomid, but this is a letter I felt I needed to write to our future child.–

Dear Baby,

As I’m writing this, you have yet to begin existing. Or maybe you have but I don’t know of your existence yet. In either case, know that you are very, very wanted. Your daddy and I have been struggling to bring you into this world and we have yet to be successful. But somehow, some way, we will eventually meet you. And we already love you.

At this point, I don’t know how you will come to us. I may be lucky enough to give birth to you. Or you may be born in our hearts and come to us through adoption. We don’t know and it doesn’t matter…. we’ll love you just the same.

I have so many hopes and wishes for you. I don’t plan on trying to make you fit into any certain mold, but like any parent, there ARE things I want for you.

An infertility awareness bracelet I made.

An infertility awareness bracelet I made.

My first hope is that you are a kind, good person who can contribute positively to the world. This world, unfortunately, has many wicked and horrible things in it. At times, I questioned whether it was fair to bring a child into a world where people don’t seem to care about the value of a life. But, I quickly realized that your dad and I are good people. And this world needs good people… just as I hope you are.

My second hope is that you are happy. I don’t care what you do (as long as you aren’t hurting other people) as long as you choose to do something that makes you happy. That goes double for if you choose to get married.

Speaking of getting married, if you do choose to get married (and I don’t care if you marry a man or a woman), I hope it’s to someone who will cherish you and encourage you to continually be a better person. Marriage to the wrong person can ruin your happiness and the happiness of those around you. Don’t be in a rush to get married or settle for someone because you don’t think someone “better” will come along. It’ll happen eventually. Your timeline and God’s timeline might be completely different. However, the person who you are meant to be with is worth the wait. Trust me. Trust your heart.

Listen to that voice inside you. It’ll steer you the right way. Deep down, you know what the right thing to do is if you just take a breath and listen to the inner voice. That person you think is the “right” person? Are they? Are they really? Or are they just perfect on paper and you only think they SHOULD be perfect for you? What about that decision you have to make? It’s a tough one and one that could change the course of your life. Whether you want to admit it or not, you probably already know the answer. Even if you don’t like the answer. It’s hard to accept things that you really don’t want to do because it’s the harder road, or the one less traveled. And sometimes, your heart and the voice inside seem to be at war. Listen harder… because they are most likely telling you the same thing, just in different ways.

Love your family. You might not have chosen us, but we are here for you no matter what. There will be times as you grow up that you think your daddy and I are the worst people on the planet who are only doing things to ruin your life. I promise you that is not true. We didn’t spend years hoping and praying for you just so we could ruin your life. I know, you probably think I’m the tougher one… and it’s probably true. Right now, your daddy has no idea what’s in store for him when you arrive—and to tell you the truth, I think he’s pretty scared—but I already can tell that he’s going to be the one you have wrapped around your finger. Boy or girl, you are going to be able to look at him with puppy-dog eyes and he’s going to have a hard time saying no. Your dad will be tough when it counts, though, and we are like this because we want you to be a good person. We have to teach you the right thing to do . There’s so much out there that is wrong, we need you to be the ray of “right.”

I hope you don’t forget where you came from. Where you grew up. The lessons taught to you along the way. They will serve you your whole life.

Enjoy life. You may find yourself in a job or situation that isn’t ideal to you. Make it ideal. Find something to enjoy about it. Don’t let naysayers get you down. Surround yourself with positive people. Be that positive person. Science and magnets are wrong… positive and negative don’t attract each other. Negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive. Choose to be the positive.

Be respectful. Don’t be a bully. You’ll go a long way in this world if you are considerate of others and show respect to those around you. But most of all… respect yourself. Respect your body. Because if you don’t… why should anyone else?

Stand up for yourself and those around you. We don’t want you to be a bully or throw the first punch, but if someone hits you, stand up for yourself. I also want you to stand up for those around you, especially those who are unable to stand up for themselves. I don’t care if you are six or 60, don’t allow people to bully and berate you or those around. By not doing something, you are allowing the problem to continue. And that means you ARE part of the problem. That voice we talked about? Again, listen to it. You know when something is wrong. You know when you should stand up for yourself or someone else. Do it.

And finally… love. And love well. Love life. Love your family. Love what you do. Just love. Because there truly isn’t enough love in this world.




3 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Our (Future) Child

  1. Pingback: 2013: You were… there | Wife of a Sailor

  2. Pingback: FertilityAuthority Blog of the Week | Wife of a Sailor

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