It just wouldn’t be a picnic without the ants.
I know I’ve been focusing more on my struggle with infertility than anything lately, but this blog is about my life. When Huzzy was deployed, posts tended to be about that. When we were PCSing, posts were about that. So this blog truly follows the path my life is taking at the time.
Today, I had a dentist appointment. Truth be told, I put it off and haven’t had an appointment for a year. If you’ve been following my blog, you know I was traveling for six weeks this summer and then this fall… well, the dentist is open 7:30-4:30 Monday through Friday. I work 7:30-4 Monday through Friday. I have Veterans Day off, they have Veterans Day off. On top of that, I’m trying to get pregnant. You can’t have xrays or dental procedures when pregnant. For two weeks a month, I don’t know if I’m pregnant or not. So that really cuts down on when I can make appointments.
Anyway, it just seems as though I can’t get away from infertility.
When I got into the room, the hygienist went over my paperwork and, of course, she saw that I was on prenatals and on Clomid a few weeks ago. She asks if I am pregnant. I tell her I honestly don’t know and won’t know until this weekend and so I am refusing xrays. She is fine with that but brings the dentist in to give me a through exam since they can’t xray. As he leaves, he tells me good luck with this weekend.
I’m hormonal. Most likely because AF is just a few days away. So I immediately started crying. He was supportive without being intrusive and didn’t just dismiss it like it was nothing.
The hygienist, on the other hand, was different. She was very nice, but I could tell she had no problem conceiving her two kids. First of all, when we were discussing the infertility meds I was taking and I told her I wasn’t sure if I was pregnant but would know this weekend or early next week, she told me, “Congratulations!!” in a sing-song voice. Congratulations? On what? Infertility? I just looked at her and told her quietly that we had been trying for 20 months and that it would be normal to have a negative.
When I was crying after the doctor was so nice and supportive to me, she patted me on the shoulder and told me that when you become a mother or are trying to become one, your priorities change and she should know because she has two terrors. I don’t get what she was trying to get at with that one. I just told her I was emotional and that I was crying because infertility is hard. I know she was trying to be nice and that she’s a nice person, but it didn’t help. Not at all.
Next week will either be really really awesome or really horrible. Because if I’m not pregnant (which will be the worst), I get to spend $750 on a crown. And I’m not even a princess. Lucky me. If I am pregnant, however, then there’s no dental procedure until the second trimester.
I really hate how infertility affects every other aspect of your life.