Punched in the Gut

Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again?  
~Rosa Parks

This past Thursday, Huzzy and I traveled the hour it takes to get to the Army base for an RE appointment. It was the first time I’d seen them since January, since they no longer do monitoring of cycles. That is, of course, unless you demand it—which is why we were there.

The good news is that my body seems to respond to Femara as I had one 23mm follicle and one 17mm follicle. I expected to get a +OPK that day, but they said they wanted me to trigger regardless, so for the first time I gave myself a shot in the belly. The RE has hope that the 17mm grew enough to give us two follies this time. In the past, whether it was a medicated cycle or not, I’ve only ovulated one egg.

The bad news was that the RE told us if this round didn’t work, she was not recommending us to try Femara again. She was recommending IVF. When I heard that acronym, my stomach dropped.

I asked about injectables because that what I thought our next step was. She said they don’t generally advocate for injectable cycles because of the risks of multiples, but that they would support us if we chose that. Huzzy and I went home that night and did some research. The chances of twins in an injectable cycle is 20-25%, which is significantly higher than Clomid’s 7-9% (or something similar). The chances for triplets or higher was 5% for injectables… which is the same percentage for Clomid. And since most IVF cycles transfer two embryos, we felt our chances for twins wasn’t that much riskier by doing injectables rather than IVF (and possibly even lower). Of course, the chances for triplets or more is higher with injectables than IVF, but it’s not any more than Clomid, which they give out to anyone without an issue.

Saturday was our IUI. And with it came some unexpected news.

I don’t think I posted the details of our IUI back in March, but Huzzy’s “donation” was shockingly different than his SA last June. Last June’s was something like 220 million sperm and March’s IUI was about 8 million. We thought it was a fluke because we weren’t expecting O to happen so soon, so we weren’t abstaining to get a good number.

Well, Saturday’s IUI rolls around and… 12.4 million. March wasn’t a fluke. We are now dealing with some sort of Male Factor Infertility (MFI). We don’t know if it is a permanent thing, something that will resolve on its own, or something that can be treated. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of options when it comes to MFI. It pretty much is, or isn’t.

I finally got a hold of the RE nurse today to talk about referrals for Huzzy to get another SA and to confirm our choice to do injectables. She told me they were going to refer him also to a urologist. But what she told me next had me in near tears for the rest of the day. They won’t do an injectable cycle with such low MFI until they know the cause… and possibly not even then. Most likely, our next option is IVF if this cycle doesn’t work.

I’m stupefied. I knew IVF was on the horizon, but I thought we’d have a few months of injectables before having to decide that. Neither Huzzy nor I were ready to go IVF without trying injectables… and now we may not get that choice. It’s such a huge step.

I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut and then kicked while I’m down. I know there are so many others who go through this and have to go the IVF route, but I never thought I’d be one of them. I knew there was always a possibility, but always had a feeling that I’d need pills or maybe injectables in order to get pregnant. And maybe that will still be true, but the chances of that are dwindling.

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4 thoughts on “Punched in the Gut

  1. I’m so sorry! I’m praying that Huzzy’s issue can be treated so you don’t have to go right to IVF. If you need to talk, you can give me a call whenever you need too!

  2. I am so sorry that more obstacles have appeared in your path. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you navigate these latest difficulties.

  3. I am so sorry. You are getting hit every single time you turn around. I hope that you get some answers, or some better news, soon.

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