So 2013 is almost finished. Good riddance. While we didn’t have a death in the family for the first time in years (thank God!), it wasn’t great, either. And it ended with me losing my job yesterday (I did absolutely nothing wrong and they are hoping I re-apply for my job when it opens in 2014 as a permanent position).
If you haven’t been following me the entire year (or even if you have), here’s what happened:
In January, I started Clomid and had my first failed cycle… and the same day a friend told me I probably wasn’t getting pregnant because my husband wasn’t the right person for me. That and she had a vision from God that said I’d die if I got pregnant. I also learned that you just can’t get away from infertility, even while at the dentist. I also wrote a letter to our future child. I sure hope I can give it to one some day.
February brought about our first IUI and I explained what it was like. I also talked about Sequestration and Continuing Resolution and what they meant to the general public. I still don’t think people get it. Let’s not forget the post about the most life-changing book ever (and I’m not exaggerating!): Taking Charge of Your Fertility.
We got our first IUI results in March. Obviously you know it didn’t work. I was also reminded that my husband is in the Navy and even when he’s on shore duty, the Navy can still intrude and mess with your life… and your anniversary plans.
In April, we started considering other options beyond IUI. And I learned that I shouldn’t buy pregnancy tests at the grocery store because people still don’t get infertility. For Month of the Military Child, I had guest speaker Raising Chaos who wrote a great post.
May found me at the USS John C Stennis homecoming as part of my civilian job. I also blogged about society not being compassionate enough when others are hurting… we are too busy saying “You should be thankful that you don’t have it as bad as me.”
June was a light month where I only blogged about Father’s Day and how it’s a worse day for our house than Mother’s Day. Neither of us have dads anymore.
We went on vacation in July to visit our family and while I was gone, I had several guest speakers like Shanon at Modern Meets Traditional… she came out of the infertility closet!, Megan at Everyday Nonsense who talked about the emotions of infertility, Lauren at Confessions of an Infertile who talked about infertility treatments while moving and being in the military, and Armymomma, who talked about adoption after infertility.
In September, the Navy barged back into our lives and I almost thought Huzzy was going to go back to sea for another three years. I mused that it must be nice to be oblivious to infertility, and also talked about trauma-induced panic attacks and how one came about because my mom didn’t call me back (much like my dad didn’t when he died).
October started a really busy time and started out badly. The first day of the month, I was furloughed and also had to go to the dreaded dentist. I got back into making jewelry and did an infertility/pregnancy loss awareness bracelet giveaway. I was also punched in the gut when my brother announced his wife got pregnant just three months after their wedding… and one month after she came crying to me that she was dealing with infertility because they had been trying for two months and weren’t yet pregnant. I also started the fun that is Lupron in anticipation of my IVF cycle.
November was a really emotional month. I started stims, I started looking 4-5 months pregnant, had really bad experience at a blood draw and Huzzy stabbed me in the ass. My mom also told me she’d never have done IVF if she were me. Then, we had retrieval and only three embies made it to Day 2, and only two made it to transfer (one died a few days later). I also talked about the death of my innocence.
December ended up being a horrible month. We found out IVF didn’t work and at that point, Huzzy didn’t want to do anything else… I had no more options. We then had the WTF appointment and afterward, Huzzy agreed to try IVF one more time… but we are going to do injectables first after Huzzy has surgery. During the month, I also started blogging about my three weeks of meal planning (with recipes!) and wrote a second one as well. I got a bit creative and wrote a poem called The Twelve Infertile Days of Christmas. Christmas put me in a bah-humbug mood and I decided to tell 2013 to suck it.
I’m ready for 2014… is anyone else?