I’m Hurting… For My Husband

I’m hurt. I’m hurting for my husband. We currently are 34,000 feet in the air and only a few hours from home (yay for airplane wifi!) after spending a wonderful week cruising the Caribbean (more on that later).

But why am I hurting for him? Because his mother said she didn’t want to drive the 2 hours to spend 6+ hours with us after we disembarked the cruise ship and before we boarded our plane. We live 2,000 miles away from her and have only seen her once in the five years since our wedding (and only then because we gave her a gift certificate for a flight to come visit us).

On our balcony before the cruise (aka: before we both became blisteringly sunburned).

On our balcony before the cruise (aka: before we both became blisteringly sunburned).

This is the woman who complains constantly that my husband never calls her (he calls maybe once every month or two, and on holidays… which is WAY more than he did before we were together since I tend to remind him to call her). But ya know what, these little neat things called phones go both ways and she could call him but doesn’t.

This is the woman who complained that we weren’t visiting her on our belated honeymoon/5th anniversary cruise because we “never visit.” To be honest, no, I’ve never visited her in Texas. Huzzy has come twice for funerals in the last five years and she’s visited us once… on our dime… in Washington. Huzzy promised her last year that we’d visit her this year (we are doing his family one year and my family the next, back and forth, to make it fair—my brother’s wedding was last year, so we are visiting MIL this year). When she complained we weren’t making our belated honeymoon/vacation longer so we could come see her, he reminded her that we are coming to see her later this year. She basically said she didn’t believe him.

What she didn’t know was we had already purchased tickets for November… we just didn’t want to tell her more than six months in advance because she is like a little kid and would drag the months out forever.

When we offered to spend the time we had between the cruise and our flight—which is more than six hours—with her if she’d drive the 2 hrs to the airport where our cruise transfer would drop us, she said she didn’t know if she could/would and to call the day we got back into port. So we did this morning. And she claimed her husband is too ill (long-term lung disease where he’s on oxygen—not that that stops either of them from continuing to smoke inside their house) to be in a vehicle that far/that long.

I call bullshit. He has kids that live in the Houston area. MIL and step-FIL visit them often.

So I’m done. I’m done reminding Huzzy to call his mother. The only time I will is on her birthday and Mother’s Day. If she can’t be bothered drive two hours (yes, four roundtrip) to see her son for the first time in a year and a half, then that’s bullshit. I can tell Huzzy is hurting. He’s her only child and that’s his mom. He loves her.

He’s always been hurt that he lived in Washington for more than 10 years and the only time she’d visit was when we paid for it (yet his dad came out many times on his own and I’ve lived here 4 years and my mom is coming out for the third time in a few weeks). And after his mom came out with our gift certificate, she told him that she didn’t think she’d ever be out again—or at least not for a very, very long time. Then, when he let her know we were doing IVF and were trying to have kids, she told him that she’d come visit if we had kids.

So Huzzy isn’t worth coming out to visit unless he has kids. And he’s not worth driving two hours (four roundtrip) to see for six hours when she hasn’t seen him for a year and a half.

He’s hurting. And I’m hurting and pissed for him.

Family sucks sometimes.



7 thoughts on “I’m Hurting… For My Husband

  1. Family really can suck! I’m sorry for both of you!

    That’s a great photo of the two of you:) Can’t wait to hear about the trip! I think the kitties will be so happy to see you.

  2. Ugh! Family really is so hard. Hate that she doesn’t see how much she is hurting her son. Hope the rest of the cruise was great!

  3. What a crappy way to end your vacation. I’m so sorry that you don’t have very strong support from your mother-in-law. Unfortunately I think we can all feel your pain & relate in some way. Cheers to you for being there for your husband & staying strong together! xo

  4. Ugh, I’m sorry about this mess. Whether or not you have kids is a crude reason to visit a person or not. To me, that says she doesn’t actually want to see the two of you. I think being “done” is the only logical way to handle it.

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